“Nearly finished” was optimistic. It took a few more days to get the catalogue done, but it’s completed and printed now. Tim was such a help and support – not that it’s the reason I miss him, it’s just Tim, the person, the lovely man whom I loved, that leaves me so bereft. Two years have now passed and nothing has started to ease. But that’s a simple fact, not a complaint or a cry for help.

I behave positively, however I feel. But it’s all a bit of a challenge, practically. Even the fact that my computer mouse is getting glitchy, after 8 years, is a minor bother. I’ve got a trackpad too and that’s fine, so I’m using that when the mouse plays up, but it does feel like doing a job with one hand tied behind my back. It’s simply not as good. Likewise, the MacBook isn’t as good as the desktop iMac. I must talk to Ronan and find out whether the answer is to get a screen or to bite the bullet and buy another computer, in the next year or so.

Tomorrow, I’m going to the wedding of Ro’s lovely friend from university days, Zain. He was best man at Ro’s wedding. We’ve always got on well, I’m my son’s plus one but also Z’s genuine friend. I named a cat after him, the nicest barn kitten, you can’t get a much higher compliment.

When I don’t blog, it’s because I’ve been so tired that I go to bed very early. Of course, that usually means an hour or two’s sound sleep and then, awake before midnight, I spend most of the rest of the night awake. This happened last night and I didn’t sleep at all after about 5am. Inevitably, I fell asleep in the afternoon. I looked at my watch, thought I must go and buy some cat food and then woke up some time later, completely confused because I thought I’d slept for hours. It was nearly 5 and I actually thought I’d slept through the night and never made it to bed. Reality didn’t strike for a minute or two. How daft.

All sorts of things have arrived for my birthday on Sunday. It’s so kind and heartwarming. Though I’m pretty well ignoring every birthday now, that doesn’t take anything away from the love I feel. “Significant’ birthdays haven’t been kind to me and are safer not celebrated. On the other hand, I need no excuse for a party.

I’ve got a lot to do in the morning, I hope I remember it all.