It took years for the Sage and me to remember our wedding anniversary. We knew it was the 24th or the 25th, but we had to look it up every year. Eventually, I managed to retain it, because we had one child born on the 2nd and the other on the 4th. Once our youngest turned up on the 24th, it was even clearer. But birthdays and anniversaries, whilst celebrated, are casual as far as the date is concerned. If a present hasn’t been chosen yet, it might arrive late or be promised for whenever something is wanted. I’ve a feeling I didn’t give Ro a proper birthday present this year and I’ve only just given Al (whose birthday was in April) his present, jointly with Dilly (whose birthday was on Monday).

Even more, I avoid bad anniversaries, but I can’t help remembering them, though I don’t usually mention them to the family. I did remind Wink though, a couple of weeks ago, that it was the 10th anniversary of Russell’s death. It had been on my mind for weeks and I couldn’t help it. Tomorrow, it’ll be 3 years since Tim died. Easier not to talk about it much, I won’t say anything (in person, that is). I’m hoping that I’ll start to feel less bereft before too much longer, I’m coping better but I don’t really feel better at all.

The other thing I’ve found is that each bereavement makes me focus more on previous ones, it’s all cumulative. So I try to spare myself.

From mid-August to the end of September is six weeks of birthdays and wedding anniversaries. All my children-in-law’s birthdays are in September and all my children got married – in different years – in the space of 5 weeks. 3 grandchildren were born in that time – again, all in different years and, of course, it’s my own birthday next week too. I’ll be a prime number again. I like prime numbers. I’m going to London for the day – Wink is taking me to a literary lunch (I can’t remember, at present, who the speakers are) in London and then we’re scooting back, because there’s a live screening from the Royal Opera House in the evening, of The Marriage of Figaro. I suppose we should have got actual tickets and gone to see it at the ROH, but we didn’t think of it in time. Of all operas, the overture to Figaro is the one that makes me settle in my seat for a good time. Lovely.

An interesting situation is developing with the cats. That is, my own darling Eloise, aka eCat and the five feral cats: Mama cat (sometimes called Mehitabel) and her offspring, Zain, Freddie, Barney and Betty.

Several years ago, affectionate Mama tried very hard to gain an invitation to live in the house. I’d have let her, but eCat had no intention of permitting anything and, finally giving up, Mama left and I didn’t see her for a couple of years. But once she’d returned, it was for good and she’s rarely missed a mealtime since. She has no great affection for her children. They all eat together on a table and she eats on the ground beneath. She’s still very affectionate with me. Zain is also tame and affectionate, Freddie comes to be stroked, Betty and Barney do not allow it. They’re very nervous around people.

Mama must be at least 10 years old, maybe more and the young ones will be 10 in the spring. I know Mama had had at least one litter before they were born.

But anyway, after this preamble … they all wait for breakfast in the morning, Barney being the boldest and most nagging. They’ll spread out to watch as sometimes I go out first and sometimes Wink does. The cats will come right up to the door and look to see if we’re up. I don’t let the chickens out until they’ve had breakfast, they’re quite respectful of chicken beaks and claws and have been known to be chased away from their food. This morning, I was going back and forth in the house, doing various jobs and I’d left the outside door open. I saw Eloise, as I thought, in the passage and greeted her – but it was Mama, who retreated into the porch. So I went to find her some food and she came back indoors. This was asking for trouble and I fed her outside. It’s interesting, she hasn’t been this bold for a long time and I suspect she doesn’t want to have another winter outside. But it’s up to Eloise, I can’t make my cat accept another.

It was a warm evening and I suggested sitting outside with glasses of wine – this was to Wink, obviously. ECat would not have any truck with such decadence. She did join us, though, lying behind our chairs. Barney appeared in the drive and Eloise looked at him with dislike, which he ignored. He came a few steps forward and settled down in the cat pose of all four paws tucked underneath. Why Eloise didn’t chase him, I don’t know, but I suspect she knew he wouldn’t run and she was at risk of losing face. So she had to lie relaxedly in front of us, looking in every direction but at him.

Eventually, we wanted to go in and I had to break the deadlock. So I went over to the bins and he moved away, so Eloise was able to come indoors with us, not having retreated while he was there. I don’t quite know what to make of it all.

Al and co have invited me to go with them to Ickworth tomorrow (I used to be able to write the word and it link to the website, but it doesn’t give that option now, so here it is https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/suffolk/ickworth-estate). None of us has ever been, which is odd as it’s only about an hour from here. Wink was asked too of course, but she’s got a friend coming for lunch, so can’t accept. But we can always go again together, if we want to and won’t wait decades this time. Round here isn’t well served for National Trust places, so I can’t think why it hadn’t occurred to me. I guess I hadn’t realised how close it is.

Eh. At that point I went to do something else and forgot that I hadn’t finished the piece. We went on Tuesday and had a very good day. The story behind the building of the mansion is amazing. That a whole wing was built just for symmetry, though it wasn’t actually needed and has never been much used is amusing.

Anyway, we’re meeting the rest of the family for lunch on Sunday. And yesterday, Wink and I were in lovely London again.

My sister has decided to give up driving – her sight has always been a problem and she felt it wasn’t going to be long before she was told to do so (she has frequent checks) and she’s given her car to Al, for Squiffany and Pugsley to use – they’re both learning to drive. For most of the time she’s been living here, I’ve normally driven when we’ve gone out together, but now we’re co-ordinating our diaries so that we don’t double-book.

We tried this a couple of years ago – not for everything, but for anything that might affect the other – on Google Calendar, but it wasn’t a great success. I normally use Apple calendar and don’t carry a paper diary any longer, which is great. It’s sometimes a minor nuisance to have to tap everything in on my phone, if there’s a lot of detail, but the convenience more than makes up for it. I can set up alerts, go straight from the calendar to the map, which comes up on the satnav as soon as I plug the phone in to the car and it backs up to the Cloud so, if I were to lose my phone, I’d have everything on my computer and could download it to another phone. It shouldn’t have been that much bother to do it twice, but it was, for both of us. And google calendar is, if you’re used to Apple, just that bit less convenient and neither of us really likes it.

So I’ve bought a teacher’s diary – just a basic one, but the point is that it starts in August, ie now. It is just as boring to write everything down twice, but never mind, it needs to be done. I had the bright idea of using different colour pens – green for my stuff, blue for Wink’s and red for both of us. It’s a pity really that we don’t both use the same phones – if I used Android or she used Apple, we’d be able to share, but this is a compromise that will work.

For a while, I did the same with Russell – I got a desk diary for us both to fill in, as well as the pocket diaries that we both then carried. In practice, it was only I who used it though. We used, usually on a Sunday evening because we were rarely out then (and often during the week) to sit down and check what we each had on in the week ahead. After a couple of years, I stopped bothering though, as the Sage neither filled it in or checked what I was doing. It was easier to just talk to each other…

*If you know this song, I’ll be amazed. It is on a pianola roll, one of the ones I used to play as a child. I suppose I still have it. The song itself is nearly 100 years old.

Home again – I got back yesterday evening. I called on my old blog friend Compostwoman on the way through Herefordshire and she took me out to lunch at a local deli/café, which focusses mainly on local produce of high quality. I bought rather a lot and then bought more soft fruit from a farm on the way back to her house.

The amount of sleep I got was remarkable. I don’t quite know how I managed it. Last night too, I slept all night apart from a brief period at about 3 o’clock. I was woken by the cat at half past six, complaining that she was hungry. I told her it was too early, but she insisted – I went back to bed afterwards, but couldn’t sleep again, of course. I hate getting up early, it makes the day drag so. By half past ten, I feel ready for an afternoon nap (and I don’t usually have afternoon naps).

Anyway, the visit was a success in another way too – the man who did such a good job of cleaning the outside of the caravan, including the gutters, is willing to clear the patio too. I said I don’t need it power washed, just the weeds removed. He was going to charge so little that I had to insist on paying more. I know how much work it is.

Last week, as well as Sandringham, we went on a river trip from Horning, visited Blickling Hall, called on Weeza and co and then went for dinner in Norwich. On Saturday, the whole family came over for lunch. I made a big tray of roasted vegetables, salads and Al kindly took over the barbecue.
It all went well, lovely to see my grandchildren cousins spending time together. The weather has been fabulous – Saturday was warm, but not sunny, so being outside all day wasn’t too much.

On Sunday, we left for Cambridge. Ro and his children went there too and we meant to spend more time together than we did, but packing took a long time. It was very hot, even hotter the next day when, apparently, it was the hottest place in the country.

On Tuesday, we had a leisurely dinner in St Neots (I chose there as I’d be able to drive down the M1 rather than the M11, a motorway I dislike). I dropped R&V off at Heathrow before midnight and set off for Pembrokeshire. I stopped a couple of times and tried to settle to sleep but I wasn’t sleepy. So I cracked on and arrived about 4.45am. It took a while to sleep, but it was after noon when I woke and I had another nap this afternoon.

Internet is as poor as ever here, but I’m standing by the fireplace where there’s a glimmer at the moment. I’ll go home on Saturday.

It’s all going really well, but we’re busy and tired. We’d thought we would have a day in London, but they decided it was a day too much.So we’ve done other things more locally instead, including a visit to Sandringham, a boat trip, a trip to Blickling, a day in Norwich and several meals out. We crash out when we get back here.

It all went tits up on Wednesday evening. We’d been out all day – that was probably the Sandringham day – and I plugged the car in to recharge. R asked what was planned for dinner and I said I’d half a chicken that needed using. She said, pfft, put it in the freezer, lets go out. So off we went, or tried to.

The car didn’t like being unplugged soon after being plugged in. It started but wouldn’t do anything else. So I said, let’s go in the BMW. Now, I’d started that last week to move it, but I hadn’t, though I’d meant to, taken it for a drive to recharge the battery. Which was, a week later, flat. I’d last driven it in May. So we ended up taking Wink’s car. We were lucky to have it as she’s going to give up driving: her eyesight isn’t ever going to get better and she’ll soon be told she shouldn’t drive any more, so would rather make the decision herself.

Next morning, the electric car was fine, as I’d expected. It was a blip. If I’d walked away so that the key wasn’t registered any more, then gone back, I think it would have been all right – but then I wouldn’t have known about the flat BMW battery. As it was, we used Wink’s car the next day to jump start it and it started immediately. I took it for a spin and it was fine. Today, I drive another 60 miles or so, so I know it’s okay.

I’d love an easy life but I can’t see that I’ll ever get one.

It was not a pleasant journey overall, though at least the English leg of it was smooth – that they had to hang around at Paddington (which keeps going all night, apparently, so they sensibly made part of the journey then) before catching an early train from Liverpool Street wasn’t anyone’s fault. I haven’t quite gathered what the problem was at Atlanta – weather or plane related – but they finally landed after 10.30pm, which didn’t give time for them to catch the last bus to Norwich, which left Heathrow at 11.30.

Having suggested the 6.30 train, I set an alarm for 7 o’clock. But they caught the 6.00, so I had to hurry. They’d only just got off the train when I arrived at the station – I’d have been in time for it to arrive if I hadn’t stopped to feed the cats, I admitted. I brought them home for breakfast and then they went to bed for a few hours. I met Wink at Ro’s house and took her to the hospital. She said, she’d had a phone call on the way which, when she pulled into a lay-by and checked, was from the hospital. She phoned back, no reply. When we arrived, it transpired that there had been a systems failure in the morning, they couldn’t do the scan she was going for and her appointment was cancelled. She fairly gently asked why a voicemail message couldn’t have been left or a text sent, but the receptionist only fields these points and can’t answer them.

Now 10.30am and R&V are still in bed, for which I don’t blame them in the least. I’ll see what they want to do when they get up. We’ve got today and tomorrow for the local things they need to do, so there’s no hurry.

I expect I’ve mentioned that I became a churchwarden again last year, reluctantly. I’ve been refusing for a long time, but a moment of compassion took over. The churchwarden is in her late 70s and has been soldiering on alone for several years. She just needed a little backup, as it turns out and I don’t have much extra to do. However, now she has broken her hip – a silly accident, her husband wanted her to fetch something (she says, he could have got it himself but he’s used to her doing everything) and she didn’t see the lead from his oxygen cylinder and tripped over it. She was due to have an operation yesterday and will be in hospital a week or so. Recuperation may take a while, it was quite a bad break, it seems.

I missed a call from R, when I was out getting the chickens in. So we WhatsApped each other. They were at Istanbul airport, having missed their connection and had been put on a later plane. Apparently, the first aeroplane left Atlanta airport 3 hours late. Ugh. So they’re due to land at Heathrow at 10.30 tonight, 2 hours later than planned.

This scuppers the plan to get to Liverpool Street in time to get a late night train to Diss. There is a National Coaches bus that leaves Terminal 2 at 11.30, but they’ll be lucky if they disembark, reclaim luggage, get to the bus stop with a ticket, in time for that. So I’ll wait to hear where and when I’ll pick them up.

I’m so sorry for them. It was going to be a long, tedious journey and I can hardly imagine how exhausted they are already. Being perennially forward looking, whatever the odds, I took the view that at least I could have a glass of wine with dinner (I’d got alcohol free beer all ready).

They’ve got a number of options, when they finally get out of immigration – assuming they aren’t in time for the 11.30 bus – so I’ll make no plans until I hear. I’ve got a couple of things happening here, but as long as they don’t take the 8am train from Liverpool St, it’ll all work out. They will be so knackered, but at least we can take it easy for the next few days.

I am making some progress, remarkably, though there’s a lot of work to do.

I’ve spoken to three people who can help and we’re putting together statements for them to sign. I’ve got some papers, going back to 1980, including official government-related ones, that are indicating what I need them to. This would all be far easier to explain if I felt able to say what I’m talking about…

I’ve also attempted to make that phone call re listed building permission, but no reply, so I’ve texted.

Yesterday, I spent two hours sorting out and putting away china – about 500 pieces, 300 of which have been wrapped, 100 locked away and the rest sorted out, waiting to be wrapped – and then needed quite a long break for the rest of the morning. Luckily, my cleaners were coming (they only come once a month) so I didn’t have to clean the room too. It was very hot yesterday of course – the temperature went up to about 30ºC – but that room is west and north facing, so it was cool in the morning – I started about 8.30, so it would be ready for the cleaners and I didn’t have to risk doing the work myself.

The family is coming over to lunch on Saturday week, when R&V will be here, so I may need that room. If the weather is fine, we may well eat outdoors, but I can’t assume that.

R&V are on their way. It’s a strange journey as, because of the Olympics, air fares are expensive. They’re coming by Turkish Airways, via Istanbul. Then they’ve got to get across London and, hopefully, will catch the 10.30 train that gets to the local station about midnight. Failing that, there’s another at 11.30 but that’s the last train of the night.

Tomorrow morning, I’ve got a haircut and then later I’m meeting my sister and taking her to an appointment at the hospital (she never knows, at the eye clinic, if she’ll be able to drive afterwards). So R&V will have most of the day to relax and start to get over jet lag. The rest of the week will be fairly low key too.

However, after that I’m getting things organised. I’ve booked lunch on Sunday at a local, excellent restaurant. I need to talk to the family about the next few days, but have various things planned, including a visit to London (need to decide on the day and buy the train tickets and the London Eye tickets). On Thursday we’re having dinner in Norwich at a rooftop restaurant and the family will all be here on Saturday for lunch as I’ve already said. On Sunday, we’re off to Cambridge for the next two nights. On Tuesday, I’ve booked a visit to Kettle’s Yard, which is fabulous. Various things planned while we’re in Cambridge, of course.