Category Archives: Uncategorized

Z’s drinking cocktails

Today’s is a concoction of white rum, passion fruit, lime juice and peach schnapps.
I might manage to upload some photos at some time, but internet isn’t marvellous and I haven’t come on holiday to look at my phone, on the whole, so I’m not reading or writing here much. I am, however, sleeping very well. I don’t think I can credit the cocktails as much as the relaxed St Lucia ambience, which is fabulous.

Z on the move

I think I remembered everything. I fed the sourdough starter, laid the fire in the big dining room, because Wink is hosting a meeting in my big dining room on Tuesday and, obviously, packed all I intended to. My only small hiccup was finding it hard to work out how to get to the hotel. I could see it but was on the wrong level and, even when I wasn’t, I had to walk away, Looking Glass style. So I was ready for a meal, a shower and now I’m in bed. And ready to go to sleep.

Z needs more books…

Having just realised that I only packed 2 books – though I’ve dozens on Kindle, I’m not that fond of reading on Kindle – I’ve panic-packed several more; fortunately in my hand luggage, so I’m sure I’ll be more rational in the morning and will see what I’m actually likely to read. Fairly light reading, on the whole, I don’t feel the need to concentrate much.

I really have got everything now, I think. The only thing left to do is check in to the airline at noon on Saturday. A few more things to put in my case, but I can shove it all in hand luggage and sort it out at the hotel on Saturday night.

I had a hygienist appointment this morning. D and I have become friendly over the past few years but she’s retiring in July, so I’ll need to swap to a new person. We chatted more this morning than we ever have – conversation isn’t that easy when one person has their mouth wide open. Then, Wink and I went into Norwich so I could get a few last-minute extras and after that we called on Rose, who is suffering badly from labyrinthitis. We’ve both had it and sympathise greatly. Her ear/nose/throat area aren’t in great shape anyway, so it’s quite bad for her. I’ve encouraged her to get sorted out before hay fever season kicks in, which could have been more tactfully put, but Rose and I can say anything without offence.

She reminded me about mosquito spray and also recommended heavy duty anti-histamine cream, so I went into Boots in town (drove home, then biked in, because I’m a virtuous Z). Boots in town has gone tits up. It’s pathetic. I don’t know if it’s just there, I know that there’s a major shortage of prescription meds anyway (getting worse all the time) and a shortage of pharmacists too, but a shop that used to have at least 5 members of staff at all times, when it was independently owned and now has 3 at most, only 1 front of house, acknowledging that it is always a fortnight in arrears for making up prescriptions and, if you want to wait, it’ll be over an hour and has a ten minute queue, isn’t doing well. If I’d had an alternative, I’d have left. When the pharmacist isn’t on duty, the whole shop shuts. I know that there are some items that can’t be sold if a pharmacist isn’t on site, but regular stuff can be sold, but that doesn’t matter to Boots. They just shut. My sister is going to get her prescription meds online in future.

I’ll read for a bit and then go to sleep. Must read more books…

Z is almost ready

I’ve packed my suitcase, which was at least a day earlier than I usually do and I’ll probably regret it, wondering if some particular thing is in it or else needing something – though the latter isn’t likely, as nearly all the clothes I’ve packed are new ones and all the toiletries are duplicates and the shoes are sandals, which I’m certainly not wearing here at present. It was cold and windy enough to stop me cycling into town, which was lazy of me, I suppose, but just about justifiable.

I’ve got a hygienist appointment in Norwich tomorrow morning, then I need a couple of things in the city centre. I might call on Rose on the way home, if she’s well enough. Poor Rose had an attack of labyrinthitis, a couple of weeks ago and isn’t over it yet. It can take a few days or a really long time, or anything in between – I’ve known all those situations.

Other than packing and not shopping – though I went into town, I couldn’t find what I wanted – I haven’t done much. I’ve got a mental list for tomorrow, especially applying for entry to St Lucia, which you have to do within 3 days of travelling there. I’ve checked into the hotel and they know that Rhonda will arrive first, so that’s okay. I need to transfer essentials from one handbag to the other, but I’m really pretty well done. Boarding pass to the plane is 24 hours in advance – I could have done it earlier, but they wanted £54 to reserve my seat and, presumably, it’d be the same on the way back and no. I’ll just sit and watch films and read, I don’t care enough for £108 on a £600-something ticket. I’m very good at ignoring everything going on around me or else being friendly enough to a pleasant neighbour.

Haven’t caught up on everything else I’m supposed to, but it can all wait, assuming the plane doesn’t crash and none of my family knows what on earth was in my mind. But the plane probably won’t crash.

Oh, I won a Premium Bond prize. £50. I’m tremendously excited. Well, a bit excited. Pleased.

Clean air action

Wink and Weeza noticed particularly in London that it was really quiet and really clean – that is, the air was clean. They said it was full of electric cars. Whilst acknowledging that electric cars don’t suit every situation, I love mine. I love just plugging it in and not having to fill it up. I love the quietness and the calm. I also love the acceleration.

Another friend has been in London too and she noticed the same, except that she put it down to the number of bikes. I’ll guess something of both. I’ve got back to cycling, just into town for shopping, after a break since i broke my foot last summer, so I’m feeling some satisfaction.

Otherwise, tired out and quite sad. it’s not even 8pm. I’m not doing well. At least, when I go on holiday on Sunday, my body clock will be completely confused, so I’ll believe it’s the time I tell it to be. When I get on the plane, I change my watch to the time of my destination. Although, since I’m going 5 hours back, I’ll be knackered by early afternoon.

Z sticks in a rut

Wink and Weeza had an excellent trip to London and are safely home. I made mushroom risotto for dinner. I didn’t get everything done this weekend that I might have, but who thought I would? I did make some progress and I’m not way behindhand. It was chilly and bleak today, I lit the fire and read all morning, which did me good.

In another couple of days, it will be two and a half years since Tim died and, though I am averse to noting anniversaries, I don’t seem to be able to help it. I think of him and of Russell all the time and feel so dismal. I don’t think I show it, in general, I behave cheerfully as normal, but I feel dreadful and seem to be stuck in a state of underlying distress. However, there’s no benefit in giving in to it, I plough onwards.

I am making plans, at least, which has to be a good sign. I need to do a lot of house decorating and I have a mind to move furniture about. I always used to shift the furniture – Russell never knew what he’d come home to. It seems a lot more effort now, but I have ideas. Al doesn’t know it yet, but I may call on him for help.

Our friend near Canterbury is coming to stay for the Easter weekend, which we’re very pleased about. Wink is going to stay with her for a couple of nights, but she’s going by train and then Daphne will drive her back. Most of the family will come for Sunday lunch, though Al and co will come on the Saturday or Monday as it’s a nephew’s 18th on the Sunday and there’s a family doo.

I’ve dropped the American family story for now, my heart isn’t really in anything. I’ll come back to it. After the 5th, it seems.

Marching out

The antiques society I go to on a Friday morning had, as its subject today, cut-outs. Silhouettes and so on. Most interesting were two 18th century ladies called Anna Maria Garthwaite and Mary Delany, but the work of others was also truly remarkable. Anna Garthwaite ended up as a designer for the Spitalfields silk making business. I quietly went on to Amazon while he was speaking, couldn’t find anything specifically about her but did find the book about Mary’s flower pictures, which I promptly ordered. She didn’t start making them until she was 72 years old and they’re amazing.

Afterwards, i went back into Norwich and bought t-shirts and some underwear. I’m pretty well sorted for my holiday – not ready, I still have to do various things online and pack, but I can do that in a couple of efficient bursts – I’ve bought or got out everything. Wink and Weeza are having this weekend in London, so I might manage to get my act together while I’m on my own (or I might not).

Zadvice

I haven’t done much ‘entertaining’ in the last few years. I’ve asked individual friends round and had casual get-togethers but, other than the blog parties, I’ve not had more non-family organised gatherings, except once. That was last autumn and I asked two couples and one single friend, as well as Wink of course. Today, a single friend asked the two of us round for lunch. We’ve exchanged quite a lot of hospitality between the three of us and I especially value the fact that she was one of the very few – think fingers of one hand – friends who asked me round for a meal after Russell died. I had low expectations, so they were realised, but I particularly appreciate those who did invite me (mostly blog friends rather than local friends). A polite year later is nice but it’s when you really want and need it that it’s least likely to be forthcoming.

Which is apropos of nothing except, if you have a single friend and you’re asking people over, please include him or her and be relaxed about an odd number. Don’t make a ‘couple.’ It’s disconcerting. Tim and I talked about that – it didn’t happen to me because I wasn’t asked much, but it did to him; that he, a single man after Viv died, and a single woman of a similar age were asked to make the numbers up and they were seated together and both felt awkward. If it’s a big party, of course numbers didn’t matter. Anyway, just suggesting that you relaxedly have odd numbers or more women than men or vice versa, because match-matchy doesn’t matter. Being included, for your own sake, does.

Z takes her clothes off

I needed new clothes. I haven’t bought any summer clothes for a few years – in fact, I’ve hardly bought any clothes since a big post-lockdown splurge when I wanted to support the local clothes shop. Wink and I took a trip to Norwich.

It was not a success, except for the very good pizzas we had for lunch. I trailed through Marks & Spencer in increasing dismay. Patterns were garish, garments were too long, sleeves didn’t exist on warm-weather clothes. Plenty of adequate teeshirts but, without anything to wear them with, I didn’t know what colours to buy. So we decided to head up the hill to John Lewis and see what we could find there. It was much the same, but more expensive. The one dress I quite liked was £165 and I didn’t like it that much.

I came home, dropped Wink at the end of the drive and headed for the local clothes shop. Lovely owner helped me pick out lots of clothes and I bought about half of them. She was tremendously pleased as she said that it’s been very quiet so far this year – she gave me a discount, though I said she didn’t need to and then knocked another £20 off the final bill, which I also said she didn’t need to. So I will pop back to M&S to get a couple of teeshirts, but otherwise I’ll remember where the good shop is and be loyal.

Later, I had a bath and fell asleep. I dreamt about the barn cats and woke up puzzled, that I was immersed in warm water. It had been hot, half an hour earlier.

It all started 100 years ago … part 3

I’ll go back to the story of Sheila’s mother Carol, who moved to the States nearly 100 years ago, another time – it’s time I came up to date, I think. The story of the Freston Wests and Aunts Annie and Katie is one that Russell used to talk to me about, but I’ve forgotten a lot of details and will have to check them out.

Up to date is a relative term – Russell and I married in 1973 and honeymooned in the Seychelles but, once we had children, our travelling was curtailed, especially once we had a dog too. But we did plan to travel, preferably leaving the children with grandparents. Russell especially wanted to visit the Caribbean – he had his sights set on Trinidad and Tobago and also on Saint Lucia. We went some way towards planning the first trip and I can’t remember why it was never booked. But it wasn’t and we didn’t really have many holidays at all.

It became more complicated once we moved here, to this house, because there were more things to take into account. Kenny came daily to look after the garden, but there were also my greenhouses and Russell’s bantams. Then there was the dog and my mother and the house, all of which needed company and looking after. We managed one family trip to France and a few British visits, but it all became complicated, especially as I was very busy with a lot of demanding voluntary work. The auction business was easier to leave.

In the past few years, I’ve become gradually more aghast at my mother’s attitude. She used to live alone in previous houses and had felt perfectly safe and comfortable, but she utterly refused to let us go away unless we organised people to stay here in the house. She said she was afraid of there being a big, empty house next door. I don’t believe that’s true, now, I think she just wanted the control and, I’m sorry to say, she was being a killjoy. Russell and I were both too patient and too reasonable and let her get away with it. We were both inclined to put others first. Now, I don’t want to be selfish but I want to do what I want to do, while I still can and encourage my family to do the same.

As I said in part 1, we were going to go to New Orleans in March 2003 but, just as we were going to book it, the autumn before, my mother’s terminal cancer was diagnosed and we shelved the matter. A few months after the diagnosis, she remembered about the proposed trip and asked me. I said, of course with her health being uncertain, we were not going and she said, oh, that wasn’t because of me, though. I said, yes it was. She was extremely ill at the time and there was no possibility of making plans and it didn’t matter. Of course she came first. No, she denied it, she was angry. It was not because of her that we’d cancelled the plans. Even then, she both wanted the control and to deny it. I’m so sorry that I have rather a lot of negative memories of someone who had so many lovely qualities too.

But there it is. A year or two later, I proposed the trip again and Russell flatly refused to go. At the time, Al and family lived in the annexe and Ro was here at home in the holidays from university – and he lived here for a couple of years afterwards too, as he worked half an hour’s drive away. But Russell wouldn’t leave the house and we never did have another holiday together, to my great sadness. After trying to persuade him to go fairly short distances in this country, I finally suggested that I holiday with others or alone and, though he was surprised, he could do nothing but agree with good grace.

When Tim and I got together, he also talked about the Caribbean, having had a couple of holidays with his brother and sister in law, after his wife died. But sadly, lockdown put paid to that and all we managed was a trip to Corfu and one to Jersey.

So, to come to the point, I’m off to St Lucia in a fortnight’s time. Rhonda is flying there from Atlanta and we’ll have a couple of weeks together. We’re talking about visiting New Orleans next year – Victoria will be 21 by then and legally able to drink. I’ve never really had totally relaxing holidays, apart from a week in Kerala recovering from a fabulous Indian wedding in Chennai, so it’ll be a fabulous novelty.