Wink, who is so stalwart and I really appreciate her – it’s really going well, living next door to each other, where we each have our space but do lots together – helped me sort things out. I now only have two rooms in complete chaos. Other cupboards, but that’s okay. Being relatively uncluttered gives me as much tranquillity as I’m likely to get.

It’s been warm and sunny today. In fact, having biked into Yagnub for my shopping and come home again, then moved the chicken coop (Hop and Polly aren’t really fit to go in with all the others and I’m not sure what to do for the best) and scuttled around a bit, I was so hot and bothered that I needed a little sit-down. Later, I walked down to the churchyard, because a friend had texted me to ask for advice – her husband died young, 25 years ago and someone has just told her that his gravestone had tipped. i knew which firm would have put it in place, but they no longer have a branch in Yagnub, so I sent her contact details and those of another local firm too, because choice is always useful.

I think, sometimes, about how to word a gravestone for Tim and what will happen when I die – not being morbid, just practical. I mentioned to the Rector, earlier this year, that I feel about ready to have Tim’s ashes buried, though I haven’t followed up on that yet. I’ve got a double grave paid for with Russell – it’s all slightly complicated by the graveyard being almost full (there is space, but it’s counted as an archaeological site and would need a lot of digs to be paid for, before permission is given for anything more) so … oh, enough. I’ve over-explained already. I mused, do I put just a basic plaque, as it’s just the site of a small casket, or do I do the full Monty and a proper stone? Then, do I mention Viv, whom he was married to for 19 years – but then he was married, not very happily, to Violetta for about the same time and this is getting ridiculous.

I ambled down, stopped at the site of my friend Linda’s grave (also a double one, with her late first husband) and took a picture of Alan’s to send to Sophie. Talked to Russell a bit, then walked home in tears. Not surprising, I suppose, but it wasn’t the first time I’d done a wobbly today. I really don’t cope very well. But you have to press on, there’s nothing else to do.

Anyway, a clean and tidy (most of) house is enough to celebrate for today. I’m going to have a Lovely Bath and retire to bed, to read until I am ready to sleep.