In an attempt to sort out my affairs, I have asked Weeza for help. Since it may take up work time, I want to pay her – she knows I mean that, but I’m not sure that she’ll let me. I really hope she will. For one thing, I desperately need a PA for a while and, for another, I want to get everything that is presently in my head and scattered about, down in writing. I have some things, but I want a full account of my complicated investments and so on, so that it won’t be sheer hell for my family when I die. I’m not expecting to die just yet, but nor was anyone else in my family when they did.
Some people are superstitious about that sort of thing, but I’m not. More of a worry to me if things aren’t orderly than if they are. Once it’s sorted, I will be fine. Anyway, I’ve got a fairly immediate issue that is right up her street and which she’ll enjoy tackling.
In addition, Al has offered help around the house – not in a general way, specifically in the kitchen, where the elderly kitchen units have wonky hinges. My family is being immensely kind to me, in a way that – while not being in the least patronising – has made me realise that they have clocked that I’m quite old and need to be looked after. I still think I’m here to look after them, if they need it, of course, but I also recognise that they’re right and I feel comforted.
This year, I’d like to feel that I’m not reacting in a panic to things – not on a frequent basis, anyway – and that I start to feel myself again. I’m anxious and unhappy much of the time and I’d like to feel better.
I can understand that, Z. One reason for our “down-sizing” (which is a joke!) is that, come the day we need to move to a retirement home, the winding-up of affairs should be easier for whoever has to do it.
I have junk to clear. Tons of it. I may as well do it as it will only be taken to the junk shop when I’m dead, by whoever. I will take photographs of things I care about – silly nostalgic things – and then I will dispose of them. I suppose it’s some sort of project?!
Sx
When I meant to leave this house and started to check out Rightmove, to see the sort of thing I might like to buy, I realised that anything much smaller than here didn’t appeal and that I wanted a lot of space between me and any neighbours. The other issue was the business of sorting out the house, which would be at least a three year project. I lived for a year (just general household expenses, not taxes, electricity and so on) on the stuff I did sell, but that was from attics and outbuildings. I am getting to the stage where I might have another clear out but the logistics of it are dismaying. If I can start by listing assets and future-proofing my income (as far as anyone can, nowadays), that will be plenty for this year.