After we moved here (that will be 29 years in July), I bought myself a Magimix, which I’d hankered after for some time. It was the leading brand in food processors, so of course that was the one I wanted. And I loved it and used it a good deal.
I also had a Kenwood food mixer, which had been an extraordinarily generous wedding present from a friend of Russell’s parents. She owned a fruit farm a few miles from here – when Russell befriended us, after my father died (I may not have told you about that, but it’s another story), he used to give us a box of apples as a present, once in a while and he’d bought them from her. Anyway, it was wonderful. It has always been an expensive item – though there’s a range of models now, there wasn’t then and it cost hundreds, even then – and she had included various attachments too. Hugely generous and I used that a good deal too.
However, the time came when I felt I had too many gadgets out on the worktop and I decided to give the Kenwood a rest. I told Russell and he put it down in one of the garages, that wasn’t used for a car.
A couple of years later – we’re still going back more that 20 years – I wanted to do a lot of baking and i asked Russell to bring it up. He looked a bit startled, which puzzled me at the time but not all that much. He went and looked and came back to say he couldn’t find it. “I know exactly where it was,” I said and went down with him. It wasn’t there.
I’m a patient woman and I didn’t nag, only asking a couple of times over the next few years if he’d found it, but he never had. And last autumn, we turned out that garage and it wasn’t there. I hadn’t actually been looking for it, so it’s only been recently that the answer has dawned on me: he gave it to someone and didn’t feel able to tell me. I can imagine the situation; a friend said that her trusty Kenwood had finally packed in and he helpfully said there was one languishing in the garage that I didn’t use and he would give it to her. I’ve always been a ludicrously trusting and laid back type and I’d never have thought of such a thing, except his reaction when I asked for it was unusually agitated and, a couple of years later, he bought me one for a few quid at a car boot. It didn’t work and I asked him to dispose of it in a few pithy sentences.
Anyway, I’ve had a shocking array of bills in the past week – another £800-odd down yesterday and the man came to read the electricity meter today, so the pain isn’t over yet. And some total ***** hit my car on the car park (I was unaware until driving home) and I’ve had my wing mirror replaced today and need a new wing. All the same, bills totalling some £8-10 thousand are dismaying, but only a real cause for distress if you haven’t got the money and I have, sitting right there. £1,000 of it was voluntary anyway, having the church railings painted in memory of Russell. There were kind and generous donations and I’ve topped it up to complete the job.
The thing is, none of these bills was anything tangible. Council Tax. R’s Income Tax. Water Rates. Calor Gas. Car insurance. London flats insurance. Accountant. And so on and so on. So I *needed* something for me. And I’ve replaced my dear old Kenwood with this. I didn’t get it from Amazon but from an actual factual shop that upped the guarantee to five years for a mere £5 extra.
it’s absurd really that I’ve bought such an elaborate machine when there’s only me, most of the time. But I am responsible only for myself, for the first time in my life, I do my best to help those I care for and one of those is me.