After this weekend, I can’t hold on to the summer any longer. I must get back to work. But for me, it has been a lovely summer. The weather was wonderful in June and July and I am glad that I was able to enjoy it. And I rediscovered myself.
Things were difficult in my family for quite some time, largely, I’m sad to say, because my mother, who lived here, was ill for several years and it rubbed off on all of us. I might write a little about it at some time, or it might be best left. In any event, even after she died (after a wonderful last six months, no depression about that), it took a long time to recover fully.
For some time, knowledge that everything could, and probably would, go belly-up at any moment, has been my guard against disappointment. When you hope, you become vulnerable, you let your guard down. And I was not a miserable pessimist. I knew that, as things are bound to go wrong, they will, in due course, right themselves again. On the whole, everything balances out. I am not alone in this by any means. A few months ago, there was an article in the paper about ‘pragmatic pessimism’ – I think it was called – which expounded just this philosophy.
But, you know, hopeful happiness feels better, if it is more risky. And it doesn’t always come just when you want it, so it has to be enjoyed when it is here.
And, as How Do We Know just reminded me, my name means ‘life’. Therefore the title of this post.
Fear not, I’m not going sentimental on you and I will be back to my normal sulky self tomorrow.