I used to say to my family, “you think it’s tough, living with me – how do you think it must be, actually to be me?”
How often do I bewilder someone – it was Tim’s turn in yesterday’s post. What I said did make sense, if it dawned on you that there were two elements to my present from Ann and Mike, but it was quite nonsensical if that aspect passed you by. It is all there if you read it carefully, though – but then, this blog doesn’t come over as something to be read carefully and it’s clearly not honed and revised. Frankly, I sometimes don’t even read it through again after I’ve published, nor do I know what I’m going to say when I sit down here at my computer.
When I used to have to give a vote of thanks after a monthly lecture, people kindly said that I sounded spontaneous, which was true, though another expression for that could be woefully unprepared. Sometimes, I knew absolutely nothing about the subject before the start of the lecture and formed my little minute of thanks speech purely from what I’d picked up. At least it showed that I’d listened intently, but I did take risks. It wasn’t courage, nor even bravado, but generally busyness and laziness – I’d never got around to reading up on the subject in advance.
Anyway, if ever my rambling on completely bemuses you, you’re not alone. I think everyone feels like that, including me.