The Sage alters the Rules

Phil and Weeza came over last night – now they have a car of their own and they brought mine back. After dinner, they went next door to see Dilly and Al. I went outside a few minutes later and remarked how warm and humid it was. “Could you replace the bulb in the outside light before long, please?” I asked. “It’s been months.” I didn’t exaggerate. It’s been at least three months, could be up to six. I’d have done it myself, except the shade needs two of my little girly hands to open it and it’s stiff, so I don’t want to let go of the ladder. A proper man-size hand can open it easily.

I went to fetch a bulb to leave out and jog his memory. While I was fetching it, I heard the torch being wound up. I followed him outside, where he was fetching a ladder. “You don’t have to do it now, it’s dark,” I said. “You’ll be out tomorrow morning,” he replied. “You can hold the ladder.” “I’ll be back mid-afternoon.” “Yes, but I might forget and then you’ll mention it again.”

I have always gone by the idea that mentioning something once is a request or information. Twice is a reminder. Three times risks being looked upon as a nag. It seems that the goalposts have shifted. “Damn, the light just went” is allowed. However many months spent fumbling in the darkness later it’s referred to again, that is nagging.

I held the ladder and thanked him for putting in the new bulb. He is a sensitive man, and he appreciated that.

There was a sensational lightning storm later, and then the rain came down in torrents.

13 comments on “The Sage alters the Rules

  1. Wink

    The only person I have to nag to do things is myself and I find it deeply frustrating when “she” doesn’t do things straightaway when “I” want them done now!!!

  2. Z

    I am at least as tolerant with myself as I am with the Sage – who would not at all agree with you, Dave. But he doesn’t mind me looking at him. He likes it.

    The job is done, indeed, John. It would have been delightful to have had “oh darling, I’ll do that for you straight away” but he was not in the least uncheerful about it. I could hear the rain too.

  3. Yoga Gal

    Since my father died I’ve becomen the handy person around the house. A woman shouldn’t be afriad of ladders or power tools. The strom sounds thrilling.

  4. Z

    It’s not the ladder that worries me, just unscrewing the light. And whilst I agree that a woman should not duck out of DIY jobs, odds are that the man will not reciprocate by cleaning the toilet so she could end up by doing everything and he won’t even notice.

  5. Z

    If it’s for a neighbour or someone who needs help, it’s done in an instant, isn’t it?

    I’m not really grumbling about him, just that he implied I was going on a bit when I hadn’t said anything in all that time!

  6. heybartender

    I dread the “nagging” feeling, but I also feel that if I can’t do it myself (I almost always can), and I’m asking you to do it, I obviously need your help and I shouldn’t be made to beg (or nag).
    I just exclaimed out loud when I read the toilet cleaning comment, and then when I paged down to the one about the neighbor getting help straight away I almost fell off the couch. Can’t tell you how many times my mother has had that issue.

    These men are lucky we love them anyway, aren’t they?

    (And thank the gods *I’m* perfect (cough).

  7. Z

    The Sage just brought me a glass of wine, unasked. And he’s scrubbed the potatoes for dinner. Unasked. I am a happy Z.


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