I haven’t done all my preparation work, though most of it, and I’ve done the food for tomorrow. Lots of straightforward food is vital, when you’re handling valuable china you have to keep up your blood sugar level. We’ve got a housesitter for the day, too many people know we’ll be out to leave the place empty, and of course there’s Ben to be considered too.
I’ve been wondering for a long time, but never sure how to put it – do other people feel they’ve done what they needed to do in life? I know the ‘bucket list’ thing is popular, but I’ve never had any notion of such a thing. Years ago, as my youngest child approached his 18th birthday, I had a feeling of relief – job done, I’d completed the upbringing of my family and didn’t have any more obligations in that respect. Similarly, I looked after my mother until she died in her own bed, as she wanted. And after this is over, I’ve supported the Sage to the completion of his career. Not that he intends to retire altogether, but he won’t particularly need my help.
It’s hard to describe what I mean, because you’re going to take it the wrong way whatever I say. But I see no particular long-term purpose in life except to complete the tasks I start, particularly in relation to my family and I felt I’d ticked off the important jobs years ago – well, the only important job, raising each child to adulthood. I’m not suggesting there’s nothing left to live for – sorry, you either get what I mean or you don’t, I’m just wondering if anyone does?
Anyway, I’ve had a contact lens in my eye since Tuesday, which is a nuisance. It’s stuck there at the back and won’t come out. It’s only slightly uncomfortable except when I wake at night, when it’s quite scratchy. I haven’t time to get it sorted out, it’ll have to happen in its own time. Actually, I’m a bit fearful of anyone messing about with my eye, I don’t want to go to the optician about it.