This evening, I cannot find music to fit my mood, or else soothe it. I’ve tried a range of stuff, and it all irritates me. I have turned it off and lit a candle instead.
Usually, I don’t give it a great deal of thought, but let my choice just happen. I listen on Spotify, mostly, largely because I want to get my money’s worth from my subscription, but also because, even if I’ve bought the disc, the artist might as well get the small sum from it being played.
I’m becoming a nervous wreck. Time was, you got a longish period of notice of a school inspection, but you knew when it would be. Then you got short notice (at one time, it could be no notice at all, they might just walk in, but I don’t think this happened to many schools). This time, they told us that we’re in the pilot group, but not when they would come. I am not consciously worrying, but my shoulders hurt because they are so tense, my face aches because I’m grinding my teeth and I wake every hour or so at night. Even the Sage is irritating me, because he’s so cheerful. Well, not just that. Someone called in for a school business conversation and he monopolised the conversation throughout, with the result that we weren’t able to have our discussion.
I’m sorry. It’s just that there’s so much to do, and this is holding us up. I’m also attempting to do some turning-out, things belonging to my mother. Yes, she died eight years ago, but this is stuff that stayed in a cupboard in Al and Dilly’s house for some time, so it’s only been in a spare room for five years or so and it just got left. Now, I’m being a good example to the Sage. He has a room to turn out, and he needs somewhere to put his things. There’s no point in nagging, I’ve got to have a practical solution or the work will never get done. Anyway, much of my mother’s stuff has turned out to be old papers, not interesting ones but newspaper cuttings and bank and tax papers, so it can all be burned. But every half hour or so, someone calls or the phone rings and then I don’t get back to it. I can see that this will take me quite some time. So far, one boxful to keep, four to get rid of.
I cannot see that we will ever be in a position to downsize. Having said that, Ro’s room is as he left it when he moved out, and it’s a huge room. Lined with cupboards and shelves, it could solve all our storage space issues. I wonder if he’d mind.