When it’s not all about me. Comfort in, dump out.

A friend linked to this on Facebook and it’s so good that, having shared it there, I’m linking to it here too.  It’s simply what not to say to whom, around someone who’s having a difficult time.

Click here.

I’m quite sure that everyone has stories about the well-meaning, or possibly not, person, who’s put their foot in it.  I had plenty of people, after Russell died, who felt compelled to tell me their story of bereavement, or else who were so upset that they expected me to comfort them.  I took it patiently, certainly there’s been no thought of upsetting me – I took it that it was good, at least, that they came to speak to me and didn’t avoid me.  There was one bloke who was awful and a few others who were out of order, but mostly I received warmth and love, occasional clumsiness but it was kindly meant.

The advice in the link is good, not prescriptive and worth taking on board.  Comfort in, dump out.

3 comments on “When it’s not all about me. Comfort in, dump out.

  1. Kipper

    Excellent advice for many situations. You have always (and continue to) said/say the nicest, most consoling things to me when I have been in the second ring.

    1. Z Post author

      One always feels clumsy, not knowing if sympathy is enough. I think that sometimes the second ring can be as hard as the first.


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