We see old friends

I was determined to get to Nadfas this time, having missed all the meetings so far this autumn.    Though we’d promised to go to Ipswich to see old friends, so I wasn’t able to stay in Norwich for lunch as I’d originally planned.

Our friends have recently moved into a flat in a care home.  They are both in their mid-eighties, both have dementia.  I haven’t seen them for several years, though Russell called on them last year – at that time, they were still managing at home but spending several days a week at the home.  It seems the best possible solution, because it was an easier transition than being suddenly uprooted from everything they knew.

They recognised us and were pleased to see us – we’ve known them for many years.  They knew Russell back in the 1960s when he lived in Ipswich.  Joyce is rather more forgetful than Herman, who still has some knowledge that he is forgetful and can concentrate on a conversation for longer, but I reckon they’re fortunate in losing their minds together, as neither has the pain of knowingly watching the other go downhill mentally.  They are both clean, cheerful, seem to be in pretty good health – I suppose the prognosis isn’t good, but neither of them has the distressing symptoms of anger or inappropriate behaviour.  Their son lives nearby and calls in frequently, taking them out on a Sunday.  It’s sad to see the situation, but they’re not unhappy, one has to try to take it as it is, not how you wish it was.

Being a little melancholy, I made risotto for supper.  It’s very soothing, cooking risotto.  And then I mixed up the ingredients for mincemeat, which are in a big bowl in the kitchen now, blending flavours.

Tomorrow, more interviews.  I’m going to be quite glad when the temporary posts are all filled – the thing is, each temporary promotion gives rise to another temporary vacancy, and each temporary vacancy has to be advertised among the staff and interviewed for.  Heads of House this time, there are two positions and four candidates.



3 comments on “We see old friends

  1. Mike Horner

    I think that is the cruellest disease -Alzheimers. It seems to me to be far more prevalent now than in the past. If I’m right, I wonder why this is so? Medical Science seems to be forecasting us greater longevity than ever ; but I can’t think that is any great advantage if it brings with it an increasing chance of senile dementia in our latter years.

  2. nick

    I’d never thought of that before, that two minds going together is more fortunate than just one going and the other person watching the tragic decline. I guess that’s true.

  3. Z Post author

    I agree, Mike, it’s something we all fear. Keep on with the Scrabble, hey?

    I hadn’t either, Nick and it could be awful if one of them had really changed personality. As it is, they are slightly disengaged from each other, so don’t pick up on mistakes, but are still companions. Neither grieves, neither has the hard job of being the carer.


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