Post prandial post

We were ready, but it was a close-run thing. The first person arrived at 9.30 and she was given the job of putting biscuits on plates – several of which I then ate (I don’t normally eat biscuits) because I hadn’t had any breakfast. I had put my face on but, after everyone arrived, and I looked at their unusually fuzzy faces, I realised I hadn’t put in my contact lens, so it was quietly shoved in while no one was watching.

Anyway, the house is unnaturally clean and tidy, apart from the dining room which is still out of bounds. A bonus for my friends was a sight of the old car, which the Sage was taking off for its MOT. Once it has been cleaned and spruced up, I’ll show you a picture of it. There is enough food left for me to be able to invite Al and family round this evening, if they’re free, to finish it. The weather is due to change tomorrow – it was fabulous today, very warm but not oppressive – so we can eat outside, which means no work apart from carrying out plates and stuff.

The Sage was my little darling, as always, and helped willingly, not resenting (well, not outwardly at any rate) being chivvied occasionally. Though lazy and disorganised, I snap into full efficiency under pressure and then I can be hard to keep up with for someone accustomed to the normal (?) Z behaviour.

I’ve just made myself a cup of lovely Earl Grey, which I’m going to take out to the lawn, where I will relax and read the papers.

9 comments on “Post prandial post

  1. zIggI

    I don’t know how you do it.
    I really don’t know how you do it.
    I really really don’t know how you do it!

    How do you do it?

    DNA I expect . . .

    which is a good thing because now I can blame my mother!

  2. Z

    I’ll tell you. I poached some salmon, a chicken and some gammon, separately. I added some chopped-up onion and other appropriate oddments to the cooking water for a bit of flavour. This was done in advance.

    This morning, I made salads. I opened three tins of mixed beans, chopped 2 bunches of spring onions, some cucumber and some red pepper, made a French dressing and mixed. I boiled some new potatoes, added shallots and mayonnaise and mixed. I made a green salad, a tomato salad and a cucumber salad and put olives in bowls. All this took about half an hour and involved no skill. I opened packs of smoked salmon and smoked trout. The Sage sliced the meat. I put out jars of mustard and a bowl of bought mayonnaise.

    Puddings were a lemon tart and a chocolate tart from Waitrose, strawberries, cream and crème frâiche and a bunch of grapes. There was a cheeseboard. I heated bread and cut it into pieces.

    No skill, no cooking ability, a minimum of time. I was a bit abashed at the lack of effort but I had no time for anything elaborate.

  3. Dandelion

    Well, I think this just goes to show. Once again, z, you are truly an inspiration to us all.

    ps Where did you get the salmon from in the end? I thought the fish-man didn’t come.

  4. Z

    I bought some at the Co-op and eked it out with the smoked salmon and trout. I’d meant to buy a whole side so it would look nice, but I had to pretty it up with concentric rings of different fish instead.

  5. Z

    Be so lazy and disorganised that you have no choice but to be efficient. And prioritise – it wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t quite finished the food before they arrived, but it would have mattered if I’d forgotten to hoover the carpet as I’d have looked like the slob I am.

    And lay the food out so that it looks pretty. And don’t apologise for not doing something that your guests weren’t even expecting. If something isn’t done, ignore it or brazen it out.


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