I was too worried about the prospect of having the consultant’s appointment cancelled to ramble on as usual yesterday, but now at least you all know what I look like full-face.
There was only another inch of snow this morning, but there was no telling how the weather would go – this area seemed to be the least likely to be badly affected – but the roads were quite bad and the schools were closed. The Head rang me during the morning, he said that it was largely that uncertainty that decided him; having 1,000 people milling about with it being several hours before school buses would turn up and a lot of staff needing to get home is an incentive to err on the safe side.
Matt the Fishman (not in a merman sense) turned up to the market, so I bought fish for dinner and we finished off the beef casserole for lunch. That was the last of the Christmas joint.
The appointment wasn’t cancelled, but I cautiously set off in such ample time that I arrived nearly 40 minutes early. All’s okay, if there’s room on his schedule and in the hospital (his secretary will be in touch shortly) I will have the operation on the 22nd.
I’ve assured him that I’m a model patient. It’s true, I am. I’m very motivated and I take good advice well and act on it. I think the fact that, on being advised by my doctor a couple of years ago to take more non-weight-bearing exercise, I went straight out and bought a bicycle and started to use it at once (I rode home from the shop) even though it was November, and have been cycling regularly ever since, demonstrates that. I don’t enjoy it at all, although it sometimes is not an unpleasant way to travel, but I still do it, whatever the weather … except snow. Or extremely strong winds. A neighbour was blown off her bike in a North Sea gale (that is, she was on land but only by 50 yards or so) and broke her femur.
The last couple of nights, I haven’t been able to sleep in any position but my left side and even then I’ve woken in discomfort several times. I want this all to be over – I’m finding it difficult. I still feel that I’m a bit young to be faced with old-lady arthritis (that is, it’s not early-onset, nor is it caused by accident or injury) and, whilst I’m quite relaxed about the prospect of the operation from a procedural point of view – I assume it’ll all go fine and if there’s any sort of problem it’ll get dealt with – I am actually quite horrified to have a bit of my body cut off in a body-is-a-temple, self-cherishing sort of way. And yet at the same time, I feel quite drawn to the practical side of the operation itself. It’ll be a spinal anaesthetic, not a general one, so I hope I’ll be aware enough to remember about it afterwards. If I’m offered a choice of level of sedation, I am interested to find out what I’ll choose.
Anyway. There we go.