Questions, questions

Now, I should like to conduct a short questionnaire, if you would be so kind as to give me your opinions.

1. When you give their origin a few minutes of careful thought, which of these is the most gross?

a) eggs

b) milk

c) honey

If you would care to explain your reasoning, I should be most appreciative.

2. Today, it has been mostly rainy.  Still, it’s good for the garden, innit?

3. We’re considering cutting down the yew tree and re-erecting the summerhouse in its place – or rather, right next to it.  The reasons for cutting down the tree are that it would keep light from the summerhouse, the pollen is very dusty, birds eat the berries and there are really messy droppings in the area and that yew is extremely poisonous and I’d worry that needles might be accidentally ingested in our picnic.

Is this cruelty to trees and does it matter?

19 comments on “Questions, questions

  1. Dave

    1. Honey. You eat the contents of the egg, but not the shell. Milk has been pasturised.

    2. That’s what i was thinking today, having been trying to weed in my concrete-like clay garden yesterday, and looking at wilting flowers.

    3. Yews live forever, or so it seems, so it’s difficult to say that they’ve seen out their life and need removing. I’m sure you’ll plant something else, in a more appropriate spot, so nature will remain in balance. Think of the longbows you’ll (yew’ll) be able to make.

  2. Tim

    1. It’s a three way draw, as they’re all stolen from innocent exploited poor beasties. But if forced I’ll go for milk, because I don’t like it.
    2. Yes.
    3. I agree with Dave. How dare these trees hang around so long, taking up much-needed space in churchyards, blah, blah. Plant a willow, then you’ll be able to make cricket bats. Or a laburnum, they’re tasty too. On the other hand, trees aren’t sentient, so the answer is ‘no’.

  3. john.g.

    Honey.. too sweet.


    Have you permission to cut it down? I doubt it, but i think you should ask. In any case i would leave it, they can grow for 5000 years.

  4. Eddie 2-Sox

    1. None are gross. But as I don’t touch honey except as an ingredient, it’s honey. Why are they presented as gross? They’re all natural products. If one is decided to be gross then the creature that produces it should be genetically modified not to.

    2. I don’t have a garden. But with a camping trip imminent I would prefer no rain until the tent is up. After that, whatever. And on the day that we’re going to Pleasurewood Hills I want drizzle; it keeps most people at home therefore reducing queues.

    3. Do it. It’s just a tree.

  5. Timorous Beastie

    1. Milk – from cows’ tits and not even tasty.

    2. Rain – can’t live with it, can’t abolish it.

    3. Don’t cut it down – the tree is not “just a tree” but home to many millions of little insects that feed and provide shelter to loads of birds and larger insects, supporting a small eco-system. It gives off oxygen to support you too.

  6. Scarlet Blue

    How come your blog looks so cool on my Android phone?!
    Please leave the tree if you can! Both oak and larch are threatened by disease and yew is lovely in its own way. Please note that yew wood is valuable so don’t let someone chop it down and take it away at your expense. If you live in a conservation area then you will need permission to fell it, or if it’s got a TPO – up to a £20,000 for felling these without permission.

  7. georgie

    eggs-not edible when raw unless you are Rocky Balboa.
    yes because it is messy, makes you sneeze and would make summerhouse less enjoyable. Perhaps see about planting a yew elsewhere on property. Maybe Sage can make some beautiful wooden objects from the cut down tree.

  8. Blue Witch

    Poor tree. You have plenty of room to relocate the summerhouse elsewhere, if you must. Yews are specail and sacred. Don’t do it.

    And, if your question wasn’t inspired by my northern call centre operative, then it’s a very spooky coincidence!

  9. Mike and Ann

    1. Eggs, I suppose. They’re the embryo of birds. I’ll still eat them though.
    2. Same here. Nice today, though.
    3. Never like cutting down mature trees, but your reasons sound pretty cogent, and it’s your garden.
    3 a. I’ve always wondered if trees are sentient at some level, but it’s not as if there’ll ever be any real shortage of yews, so no, I don’t it matters much.
    Quite realise that none of these answers are of any real help – your pigeon though. We lost half a mature yeew tree in the great storm. I cut up the wood and stored it carefully, and some years later an honorary niece turned up some very nice yew wood cups form it and gave me one. So do preserve the timber.

  10. Christopher

    If you follow the egg sequence from lay to the breakfast table – and then consider it backwards, i.e. with a sort of white and yellow mush issuing from the breakfaster’s mouth, then being spooned into the shell, and so on back to its origin, it beomes clear not only which of the three is the most gross but also the most entertaining.

    I’d be tempted to put the summerhouse in the yew tree for the little ones to play in. I’m sure Dave could arrange this.

  11. Z

    It was absolutely coincidental, BW, I’d written and published it before reading your post.

    I don’t know, SB, pleased to hear it though.

    This is not a conservation area, which is more associated with towns and there is no tree preservation order on the yew, which is not a fine specimen at all. It’ll be a long time before a decision is made, we’re mulling it over at present.

    Thank you for your replies.

  12. Roses

    1. None of the above. I’d happily consume all.

    2. It’s definitely good for the garden and I wasn’t doing anything, anyway.

    3. It’s your tree. Do what you will. Be good to plant another though.

  13. 63mago

    An old farm lady once called the egg a “ausg’schissene Gottesgab'” – God’s shat out gift?

    Yew is taxus, Eibe, yes? Dave already mentioned the bows. I shy away from cutting down a healthy tree. As I heared they are nearly undestructable, so the root stock propably needs to be dug out. Before cutting this tree down one could make some cuttings or sprigs, Ableger, and put them in other places.
    I like trees, but Eibe is clearly not my favourite. I associate it always with darkness and unhappy feelings, even in brightest sunshine it looks cold to me.

  14. Sir Bruin

    1) Can’t manage a few minutes of careful thought, but did stay focussed for a second or two. I will eat eggs and honey regardless of their origin. However, drinking milk after you’ve been weaned?
    2) Can’t imagine that it will do the garden any harm.
    3)I don’t believe it matters whether it is cruelty to trees or not. I’ve never heard one complain.

  15. luckyzmom

    1. None of the 3 are gross to me but I can see everyones points. Initially I choose egg though cause you have to cook it or add it to something else unless you’re freaky and eat them raw, shell and all. Luckyzdad and I have a saying, “You need an egg if you’re going to make brownies.”
    2. I live in the desert, rain is always welcome.
    3. I sometimes miss the tree that my husband and the landscaper convinced me should be removed. Their reasons certainly made sense and so do yours.


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