Q Wing down the Drive

We all arrived home in three cars at the same time last night, although Al had left earlier than the rest of us to phone in his orders from the shop for the next day. The drive went from dark tranquillity to a blaze of headlights. I took the bag of money and cheques and it was put away safely and I put the kettle on for tea, but I never got around to making it. I opened a bottle of Rioja first and we lounged around talking instead.

Ro’s hair has grown long and Weeza was asking him about his beauty routine. He hasn’t really got one, he said. She advised him on haircare and recommended a hairdryer with a diffuser. Then she wanted to know about his face. “You do moisturise?” she asked sternly. “No” said Ro, looking alarmed. Weeza tutted. “You are reaching the age when you can’t neglect your face. What do you use to wash with?” She was unsatisfied with the answer. “Wet or dry shave?” Wet, and at least he has a shaving cream of choice – he couldn’t remember the name but it’s Italian. “What kind of scent do you like”, she enquired.

We were all in fits of laughter as a bemused Ro answered politely. Eventually, Weeza went to bed and so did the Sage. “How does Phil cope?” demanded Ro. “If this is what marriage is like, I think I’ll stay single. I’d forgotten that living with Weeza was like this” We decided that Phil lets it all wash over him and takes no notice.

The next morning … “Do you exfoliate?”

Wink was taking Ro back to Norwich as she was visiting someone for lunch. As I was kissing him goodbye “Check out his complexion,” she advised. As if I’d do such a thing – anyway, there’s nothing wrong with his complexion. After they’d left, Weeza chuckled. “It’s a lot of fun, winding up Ro,” she said. “He takes it so seriously.”

Nevertheless, I suspect he will receive a full set of skincare products for C*******s.

22 comments on “Q Wing down the Drive

  1. Z

    You don’t use soap and water, do you Dave? Have you tried a good facial scrub? Never use a flannel on your face, only a muslin cloth.

  2. Z

    Well yes, Pat, you’re right. She sort of meant it! – though she’d never have tried it with Al, who’d have refused to discuss it and put on his Pa Steptoe face.

  3. Z

    Darling, it’s your cheek we’re talking about, not mine. And how would I know how soft and smooth yours is? We don’t have that sort of friendship.

  4. badgerdaddy

    Despite sharing a house with a 13-year-old girl and a beautiful woman, I have by far the most toiletries. By far.

    In fact, they have both been known to borrow from my toiletry mountain.

  5. Z

    The Sage certainly doesn’t – though he does use moisturiser. He’d not get too many kisses from me if he had chapped lips.

    Badge, I’ll have to get you to pass on some beauty tips to Ro. And to 4D, it seems.

  6. Roses

    It’s important to have a good skincare regime, whether male or female.

    But then again, I used to work for Lancome, so I would say that.

    I prefer men who understand the basics of personal hygiene and are able to look after their skin.

  7. heybartender

    This is a hilarious post. Especially the exchange between you and Dave. I do hope to meet you both in person one day.

    I’ll be showing it to the b.h. later. He, by the way, is in his lower 30’s and only has a routine because it is required by the Culinary School. He used to get a haircut about two or three times a year, and only shave when he started to itch- about every six weeks. Now he has to starch and press his chef whites and shave (with an electric razor) every morning. Otherwise, he’s with Ro. And for the record, I am a compulsive moisturizer.

  8. Z

    Oh yes, I really must meet you, I’d love to. We (I hanging on your shirt tails) could further Dave’s musical education no end.

    Al waits until he’s got a gingery beard coming before he shaves – mind you, he’s at work by 7am, six days a week. I don’t know how Dilly puts up with it.

    I’ve dry skin, I must moisturise, and foundation is essential too or my face starts to fall off in bits.


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