Mixing and mismatching

Sorry, Nigella, but chocolate pasta, even with pecan butterscotch sauce, is just plain wrong.

It’s a funny thing, isn’t it?  I like pretty well all foods, there is almost nothing I dislike in itself although, of course, some dishes I’m not too keen on – though that’s probably the way they’ve been cooked.  I only once tried jugged hare, for instance, and it was disgusting, but I’m quite prepared to blame it on the cook.  Roses said the other day that she’s tried oysters several times – raw, cooked, smoked – and still doesn’t like them and that’s quite fair enough.  And then there are foods that are taboo to you – which may be pork to a Muslim or dog to an Englishman, meat to a vegetarian or honey to a vegan.  There’s little I wouldn’t try – a few things, mind you, I have my prejudices – but there are still some things that I can’t take, even if they taste all right.  Chocolate pasta is a case in point.  Just plain no.

Take a crumpet, for instance.  I love a toasted crumpet.  I’ve even been known to make them, quite a pleasure if I’m in the mood, though I can rarely be bothered.  But they are to be eaten with butter.  The Sage adds Marmite.  I love Marmite, but not with a crumpet.  No, I haven’t tried.  The taste is irrelevant.  A poached egg is fine and I suppose topping it with cheese and toasting it is permissible, not that it’s right, but that’s all.  Maybe a freshly-picked field mushroom at a pinch.  Or (not and, don’t be silly) a smear of strawberry jam.  But a buttered crumpet is perfect, it can’t be improved upon.

Oh, and what’s with adding fruit and stuff to cheese?  I was persuaded to buy some ginger-flavoured cheddar once.  I couldn’t eat it.  That is, I tasted a bit and it was perfectly nice, but it was wrong.  As is cheese flavoured with apricot, cranberry and the like.

I once watched a daytime cookery programme and the unfortunate amateur cook used cheese with his fish dish.  The Italian judge wouldn’t even try it.  Fish and cheese were wrong together and that was that.  And Belgian Waffle wrote the other day about a macaron baking class she went to, with savoury macarons – she gave examples, but my mind won’t retain them because they were perfectly horrid.  Bristling with horror, darlings.

And you, dear hearts?  Puzzle me or make me squeal in agreement, why don’t you.

25 comments on “Mixing and mismatching

  1. von LX

    You are correct, some things just don’t go together.

    Last weekend I stopped at the gelato stand for a chocolate in a waffle cone. They had chili-chocolate! I love chili. I love chocolate. Not together! I left, coneless.

  2. Tim

    I’ve been looking for recipes from The Futurist Cookbook, by a guy called Marinetti in the 20s, which apparently contains stuff like ‘chicken with ball bearings.’ Can’t find any recipes, so I’ve ordered a copy. Will advise as and when.

  3. martina

    Salmon with too many additions- other than oil, pepper and lemon. Can’t stand it. Alaska salmon is so tasty on its’ own. Lots of lemon, a drizzle of oil and a bit of black pepper and I’m happy.

  4. Blue Witch

    Even Mr BW hates chilli chocolate.

    Crumpet with marmite and then cheese, grilled. Yum. Wish I could still eat crumpets – the gluten/wheat free ones are disgusting (as is most GF commercial baking). Haven’t got round to experimenting with making my own crumprts from cornmeal and rice flour, but no doubt it could be done.

  5. mig

    I’m still slightly bemused by the idea of a Hawaiian pizza. Pineapple on pizza? And I tried chocolate chilli once. Just to show willing. However, a square of chocolate melted into a chilli con carne is really nice.
    I so agree about cheeses with stuff in them. Like port in Stilton – they taste divine together but separate if you see what I mean. Mush them all together and you lose both flavours and gain a muddle.

  6. Pat

    I think a lot depends on the ambience. For instance if you offered me oysters in the cold light of day I may demur – but sharing them as a treat in a house party in the S of France where we were working our butts off to help a friend do up her farmhouse… absolute food of the gods.
    And MTL got me to like cheese with bits of cranberry in it. Delicious

  7. Roses

    I like fish and cheese. I don’t get the horror behind it.

    When I joined the Supper Club, I resolved to try everything…rhubarb, fennel and oysters.

    I spat darling, in a very undignified manner. Bleugh.

    Chocolate pasta…I’d give it a go. I don’t mind chilli chocolate.

    But Marmite. No thank you. Bleugh.

  8. Z

    LX’s point was just what I meant, though, the point being that it’s too wrong for him to take in and he wouldn’t even try the chilli chocolate ice cream cone. It isn’t entirely a matter of whether the combination tastes good, but that it’s Just Plain Wrong.

    I had a vegetarian chilli with chocolate in it once, which tasted okay but the chocolate made it far too rich for a non-creamy veggie dish. I was a guest so had to finish it, unfortunately.

    Hawaiian pizza is JPW. So is bacon and waffles and maple (or any other) syrup. And what’s with peanut and jam sandwiches?

  9. Roses

    Tsk. Bacon and american pancakes with syrup is surprisingly yummy. It’s a sweet and savoury thing.

    You haven’t lived if you’ve never tried peanut butter and jam. Mmm….

  10. Z

    They may well be delicious, but they’re wrong. Not as nature intended. People from the other side of the pond can’t be expected to understand.

  11. Mike and Ann

    Agree with Roses; we were given a fried breakfast – with maple syrup and waffles at the other end of the plate but on the same plate, in New England, up near the Canadian Border.
    Sounds revolting, but oddly enough we both enjoyed it.
    P.s. Long time ago, but nice to know they still do it.

  12. Z

    I’m really open-minded about almost all foods, it’s just a few combinations that are JPW. Now I think about it, it’s foods that are perfect as they are, mostly. It’s a purist thing. Or so I claim. Of course, if someone did give me a crumpet topped with Marmite and cheese and toasted, I’d eat it. I might even like it. But in a slightly dirty way…


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