Guilt kicked in

Al sold out of wreaths again today. So I’ve been making a new batch. The Sage went out to pick fir and holly (all our friends have bare bushes – ooh, chilly – by Christmas time) and I started work. Ouch. The fir was prickly. He hadn’t realised, because he had worn gloves.

I started work, and by the time I went to cook dinner, I’d done seven bases and completed four of them – I do a base of fir on the wire framework and top it with berried holly. Those people who like artificial flowers can have them, but only red or white.

I started again after dinner, ‘ouch’ing as I went. When half-way through the fifth, I held up my hands. They were bleeding. The Sage was stricken with remorse – he’d been able to ignore the ‘ouch’es, but physical evidence of my pain was something else.

We did the last few together.

Tomorrow morning, Al has seven fruit baskets to make up. He doesn’t have extra staff in the shop on a Wednesday, which used to be his half day until he discovered how much business he was losing in the afternoon. So I will be wrapping up very warmly and being his glamorous assistant for the morning, or however long it takes.

This evening, he thanked me. I was really embarrassed. You don’t want your children to be grateful for their parents’ help – appreciative is nice, but grateful is unnecessary.

Until January, that is, when he and his family are going on holiday and I will be left in charge of the shop!!(!) Then he will owe me big time.

10 comments on “Guilt kicked in

  1. The Boy

    Appreciation but not gratitude. I’ve never thought it in those terms, but that’s spot on. It would feel odd to have one of my children thanking me for doing what naturally feels right to be doing as a parent.

  2. martina

    I try to always thank my Mom for her help. She has been a dynamo helping with gardening, interior painting and decor, moving furniture, dog training etc. How many women can say their 68 year old mother taught them how to use a chain saw? She always says “it is a Mother’s duty”. Well yes, when the child is under 21 but when your child is an adult it is not duty, it should be just because you want to. I’m not very grateful when she “helps” to put Ikea type items with me but grabs the directions and says they are wrong. 🙂

  3. Z

    Martina, your mum rocks. Now I want a chain saw for Christmas.

    Hello, chairwoman, lovely to hear from you. It seems that bad blogger is trying to force everyone on to beta blogger by not letting them comment. I gather that if you preview it first then it is more likely to go through. Or comment as ‘anonymous’.

  4. Wendz

    Are you having nightmares about wreaths at this stage? I’d be tossing in my sleep.

    I don’t know about not feeling grateful..I was very grateful when my Mom bailed me out financially recently. It went way deeper than appreciation.

  5. Z

    Too tired for nightmares, Wendz. I go to bed late so that I’m sure of sleeping. Except when my hip hurts, which it does when I relax, so I sometimes spend two or three hours awake then, too tired to do the sensible thing and get up.

    Your mum rocks too. Yes, more than appreciation due, but I can tell you how thankful she was to be able to help, rather than just worry about you. I do hope you have a wonderful time with her, however painful the first Christmas is without your dad.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.