Did they find what they wanted?

I’ve just been looking at my statcounter, to see what keywords people have used to find me. Usually people gleefully or disconcertedly report that worryingly anatomical phrases have been used, which I would not dream of quoting for obvious reasons. I, however, found this – what should i do today to cheer myself up but still feel like i’ve achieved something. Now, that’s the sort of cheering, positive message I’d like to give out in this blog!

I didn’t find what I was looking for, I’m happy to say. It’s not that I am secretive about my identity, but a few bloggers I know (virtually speaking) have been dismayed to be told they are discovered. “Can’t go to that pub again” said one of them. I know what he means. It’d be one thing for a friend to tell you and you’d appreciate their openness, but for an acquaintance to laugh about it, pass it round and make you feel as if you’d been caught out, would be disconcerting at least.

I told my family about it early on, which I’m glad of. I’d really not like them to hear from a third party, to find I’d been keeping secrets. My sister and daughter, whom I don’t see everyday, read it, but the rest of the family don’t bother, as they do. I suspect they have more than enough of my thoughts and opinions as it is. I do show bits to my husband, who cannot use a computer at all, so that, whilst he’d be welcome to read it, he never will. I read out comments, show him photos I’ve put up, to make sure he is not kept out of a part of my life which really matters to me. I find that quite an odd thing to say, but bloggers will understand me. It’s been unexpected. I like it.

16 comments on “Did they find what they wanted?

  1. PI

    I make a point also of keeping MTL up to speed and he approves as long as I don’t publish photos of him. Which is a shame especially when he was young and beautiful. Likewise one of my sons.

  2. Z

    My sons think it’s weird, my daughter-in-law feels that it would be like reading my diary and my husband is indulgent. He doesn’t really ‘get’ it but he likes me to be happy. Of course.

    I don’t think any of them would like me to put up photos of them now, but they probably wouldn’t mind old ones. I only put on photos of the children if their faces are hidden. Few photos exist of me and the Sage – we are both somewhat camera-phobic. We’re not as photogenic as you are!

  3. maggie

    i understand that piece,z. my closefriend dani asked me once if keeping a blog isnt some sort of an outlet of an exhibitionist. some ppl cannot understand it.

    when i first started blogging years ago, i kept it a secret cause it was always so easy to talk about everything when your identity is hidden. but it became an all different world together. so i dropped it and started anew.

  4. Anonymous

    I read your blog as if it were a short phone conversation with a friend. So interesting to read about the life a person has in a different country, how they see things and learn things from them. My fear with having a blog would be some wacko stalker type or an enemy reading it. Hence, the need to not post photos or give too many details.

  5. Z

    It’s a funny thing isn’t it Maggie. It’s not exhibitionist, but I think you need to read or write blogs to understand them.

    I’d not write anything that I couldn’t tell a friend but, tolerant as my friends are, I don’t think they’d listen to me talk about myself for this long!

    Steven, that means you are free to say anything you like about them, isn’t it 😉

  6. Wendz

    When I first started blogging my family read it and then last year I stopped that and started A Baguette….I felt awkward writing about my life and having them read it..even though there isn’t much bad in it…still I want to keep part of my life just for me.

    I also felt that because they were reading it, they had stopped calling and emailing because there was no need to – they were up to date with things…now they stay in touch better.

    Now tell me – what part is important to you in this sentence…

    “I read out comments, show him photos I’ve put up, to make sure he is not kept out of this part of my life, for it really matters to me. “…

    Is it the blogging or is it that Sage knows?

    If I am being obtuse, please forgive me – I am truly tired tonight.

  7. Z

    Yes, my sister says that she doesn’t need to phone because she knows what I’m getting up to! Having said that, we do speak most weeks and we’re having a holiday together in Cornwall in April.

    Ah, a lack of clarity. I meant that the blog matters to me, and so I wouldn’t want him to feel I was keeping him away from it. I’ll change it.

  8. maggie

    i have the most unconventional father in the whole world so he was pretty cool with me having a blog (he is the same father who has been syndicating his son’s friendster profile!)

    i have no absolute idea how many of my personal friends still read my blogs. so it somehow surprises me when i tell them something and then they would say, “ah yes…i read it in your blog…”

    and i would think, why the hell didnt they leave a comment! ;))

    so z, im sure theres somebody out there who knows… and yes, dani and i argued for days about that “exhibitionism” theory. 🙂

    david just laughed.

  9. Z

    Ah. Good point. None of those who know me (apart from BD, whom I met through the blog as he used to live here) ever leaves a comment. I think they would feel that was odd. They might send an email though, it being more personal.

    I need to think a bit more about the exhibitionist theory. Anyone else want to make a point about that?

  10. Imperatrix

    My sibs all comment on my blog, as does my spouse. My parents know about it, but they’ve never visited. Nor have my in-laws. Some positives about family knowing: they are all up to date on what’s up in my life, and commenting keeps the “chatting” going between us (we all live far away from each other). Some negatives: sometimes I just can’t blog about issues which affect me deeply, but which might be misconstrued by my family (for example, some of them boycotted my blog for a bit after I said I had been offered lots of cheese during our christmas visit — oh, lordy, lordy). Also, *they* are updated on *me*, so they don’t call, ever. I am most often the one who calls them. Makes me feel unloved, sometimes 😉

  11. badgerdaddy

    I wouldn’t say I’m an exhibitionist, nor would I say I need the attention. I read something the other day which said that a blog can be like a sketch pad for a writer. That’s kind of like how it feels for me. It’s like flexing muscles I haven’t used in years, writing for pure enjoyment rather than to pay the rent. Remembering why I like writing so much. It’s really helped me rediscover that.

  12. Wendz

    Some bloggers do blog in a very exhibitionist way, yes. I think the sex blogs fall in that category and I don’t really read them much – they irritate me.

    For me, it’s just nice to waffle. I like getting comments – not for the attention in itself, but for the interaction with people. And that, I think, is the point for me. Meeting people, sharing ideas and opinions, making friends, fun.

  13. Z

    Imperatrix, I know what you mean about the family not phoning because they know what you’re up to. I can’t complain, however, because I hardly ever ring them! I just don’t think of using the phone for a chat in the evenings, much as I enjoy it when I do.

    BD & Wendz, yes, I completely agree with both of you. As you know, I reply to most comments (though I will let someone have the last word once in a while) and that is part of the pleasure, for me.

  14. dharmabum

    it really has become a part of our lives that matters quiet a bit, and i am surprised to discover that about myself. for a year ago, i’d never have imagined being so much a part of this virtual world, and gladly so!

    i’ve never gone out actively searching for blogs – most of my blogger friends have been people i have ‘bumped into’ 🙂 your blog sure is positive, and brings a certain cheer to me.

    me, my mom’s the only one who doesn’t know about my blog ;o) and i’d like it to remain that way, for she is a very gentle lady, who may not appreciate a few ‘facets’ of my life. and i end up thinking maybe its better for her she doesn’t know some things…


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