I used to blog daily and it became ridiculous. I was, occasionally, obliged to post at just before midnight, on my phone, nearly asleep, so that I didn’t miss a day. It’s slipped so badly that it isn’t part of my life any longer and I really miss that. I’d like to resolve to blog daily, mostly, but I’m not entirely confident that I’ll keep it up. It has to be a way of life or it doesn’t really work – not necessarily daily, but regularly.

I’m struggling quite a lot, but you wouldn’t know it to talk to me. I seem relaxed and cheerful and that’s the best way for me to manage. I’ll acknowledge when I find things hard but I still put on a brave face. Anyway, more about that would be really boring, so let’s move on.

I’m getting overwhelmed by china at present. I’m helpful, that’s my problem. But it’s not as simple as that. Someone gets in touch in November and I pick up their china, which is not very valuable. Ditto in January. I start contacting people who might have better stuff and it gets some results. Then, come April, people want to enter better pieces in the sale and, by June, I’m getting too much. But the later things are better than the earlier things, so I start juggling. Not literally, obvs. This is how I am now. My colleague D is coming over on Tuesday and we’ll sort things out. Although on Wednesday I’m meeting a friend and collector, who wants to enter some pieces…..

Spinning plates, constantly re-evaluating, trying to help everybody without over-stressing myself, this is what I do. I have to own it. Denying the person I am won’t be much use to me and it’s just a matter of recognising when it’s getting too much.

It was too much last week – and the week before, in fact. I didn’t open a letter from my solicitor, not because I thought it had any bad news but because I felt overwhelmed and opening it would mean I had to deal with it. Then I got a second letter. So yesterday I finally opened both of them, emailed a response, phoned a neighbour because signatures needed to be witnessed and – just like that – it was all sorted. It would have been no more stress or effort to have done it ten days earlier, but I didn’t, even though I knew it was better dealt with than worried about.

I get tired of all this. Most of the things that worry me are imposed, not instigated by me, but I don’t have anyone to deal with them for me. Too many plates spinning and some of them just won’t be settled and stabilised.

Today, however, I helped someone. Her dad died earlier this year and he was a collector, a compulsive one and she was shocked to find the condition of her parents’ house. She took a sabbatical from her job, moved in with her mum and is sorting things out, but she’s overwhelmed and I understand that, so D and I are putting ourselves out to help her. To everyone who’s helped me, thank you and I’m paying it forward.

Wink and I have booked a visit to London next month to see exhibitions at the Tate and we’ve booked trips to the theatre too. What I’m doing is not giving up good stuff for obligations. It’s just making me overly busy but, if anything gives, it’ll be the boring bits. If I’m not at a meeting, it doesn’t matter.