Al and co dropped in this evening, minus Squiffany because she’s doing her St John Ambulance training on a Monday evening. I asked what they do usually – either go to MacDonalds or, if Al is on his own, he just waits in the car park. The lengths he’ll go to, not to call on his mother, I mentioned acidly. He knows I’m not really acid and he didn’t need to dissemble.
It’s Squiffany’s 17th birthday in less than a week. My birthday present to her is driving lessons, though I’m not sure that it’s really much of a present as her parents are obliged to pay for them anyway. But learning to drive is such a rite of passage, I do want to be part of it. I used to see so much of her when she was little, growing up next door, and they moved about 9 1/2 years ago and we’ve not spent all that much time together since. It’s been rather the same with Weeza’s children: not that they lived next door, of course, but they used to come and stay every week in the holidays until Weeza took a job where she had the school holidays free and could manage without. Rufus and Perdita are likely to be my last grandchildren, so I hope to have a few years of closeness with them, at least while they’re young. I don’t want to be clingy or needy, even when I feel like it. I know what old people can be like, I’d rather not be an obligation. I don’t think I am, not yet.
I turned out the porch. Why does everywhere get cluttered? It’s all gone tits-up in the last few weeks. Back under control now, but I don’t understand why – well, I don’t know. Is it that I don’t understand why I get chaotic or I don’t understand why others don’t? Anyway, I’ve realised that I didn’t give Ronan the removable parcel shelf from the Focus (that I hadn’t noticed in a week shows what the situation was) and I reminded myself that the Christmas tree stand hadn’t yet been put back in the shed.
The difference between me and Russell is that I have cleaned and tidied and put things in their proper place and he never, ever did. If I asked him to clear some stuff, he shoved it in a bag or box and hid it somewhere. I found so much stuff, after he died.
But I digress. It was lovely to see the family and I’d planned to have trout for dinner, but couldn’t quite be bothered, once they’d gone, so I scrambled some eggs. Just one slice of bread left, for breakfast toast. But I have got sourdough proving in the kitchen, ready to be baked tomorrow. I have to go out at 10 o’clock, so maybe I’d better get up early, as there are two loaves. Oops. I didn’t think that through.