I’m not the ruthless type, in truth. My natural inclination is live and let live, look before you leap, choose your cliché or your proverb. But I’ve not kept an eye on the Sage and he is a hoarder, and somewhat slapdash to boot, nowadays. He loves a new project and so do I, but I complete them and he loses interest and goes on to the next thing. But I have had to give in, take it on board that I have no say at all in the most important areas of our life, so have to make the best of things. It’s a losing battle – those of you who, like me, are fans of Saki, think of The Mappined Life. Decision-making and choice are so often a delusion, but one is happier when one doesn’t know it.
In short, as you’ll have gathered, the outside gets me down but I’m trying to make the best of it. A good deal has been done and I’m going to make a list of the most essential jobs this month. I’ll attempt a rule that if it’s not on the list it has to wait unless it has been discussed, though the Sage doesn’t follow rules and, on the infrequent occasions we have help in the garden, he says what goes. He calls me out, asks what the priorities are, I say there’s no point because he’ll do something else, he insists so I say – and nothing I say gets done and I wish he hadn’t gone through the false consultation. It did today because I was mostly there and I got stuck in, I like hard work and it’s far better for me to do it than the Sage because he takes medication for his heart nowadays and I won’t have him working too hard. I take a lot of care of him, drive when it’s more than half an hour or so, carry anything heavy, go upstairs if something is needed – all the obvious, but he’d be oblivious, if you’ll excuse the play on words.
Fed up? Oh yes, not at the work but at its overwhelming nature. Every year we start out with good intentions, but it’s too much. Frost all year round might stop the grass growing but, even after the winter (and spring so far) that we’ve had, I can’t see that happening. Many tons of concrete is a serious temptation.