Yagnub News

This one’s mostly for B@dgerd@ddy…

A bloke went into the computer shop on Thursday to buy a laptop. He paid by credit card. The assistant, upon putting the card through the machine, was notified that it was stolen. He played it cool. “Thanks, that’s fine,” he said. “If you call back later, I’ll have your laptop ready for you.”

The bloke toddled off trustingly, and duly returned an hour or two later to fetch the computer. The police were waiting, hardly able to believe their luck. The young man in the computer shop has had a smile from ear to there ever since.

The road was blocked all afternoon, by the market traders’ vans as they packed up and the police car on the other side of the road, as they spent a long time getting the shopkeeper’s statement. It’s a one-way street, so everyone had to back down and drive around the town.

Oh, and still for BD, RightPrice has been shut for a couple of weeks for refurbishment – Peter has taken it on himself now; it used to belong to his parents. He decided to give it a good clearout and repaint. On Wednesday, he was painting the shop front. Very slowly. Everyone who passed by wanted to stop for a chat…well, we’ve missed him, we need him for our bargain shopping.

Apparently, he intends to change the name of the shop, but we don’t know yet what to. Jean favours ‘Pete’s Bazaar’ to go with the Gay Shopper. If that’s what he chooses, I do hope he asks Al how to spell Bizarre…

14 comments on “Yagnub News

  1. badgerdaddy

    Blimey – is he going to change the distinctive colour combo of burning, bright yellow and red for the shop front? But it blends so well with the rest of the town…

    A fine shop for buying spatulas, that.

    A friend once bought me a spatula for my birthday, and he wrapped the paper tight to its shape. He could hardly see for laughing when he gave it to me.

    Well, good on the computer shop; to be fair, it’s probably the only shop worth going into in Bungay with a stolen card; there’s only so much tat one can carry, at least a laptop is portable.

    Thought of yourself and your family earlier, too, as I had some apple, thyme and sage kettle chips. Geddit – sage, and kettle chips being pretty local.

    Mind like a steel trap, me.

  2. badgerdaddy


    I’ll do you a sampler and stick it in the post – fancy emailing me the shop address??

    Live on Two Legs is a live album, and as such it might not be ideal. If it’s not, I’ll happily pay you what you paid for it, as bizarrely I don’t have it!

    Mind you, they’ve released 100+ live albums over the years – they release a live album for each country they tour in, with one whole show on it.

  3. Wendz

    Nice little chat there. Sorry to barge in.

    Actually I have nothing to say.

    I’ll leave then. Toodles.

    Oh no wait….they caught a fraudster? Well good.

    See? Nothing to say.

  4. Z

    My father always deliberately mangled sayings and used to say ‘ear to there’. And ‘money for old jam’ and ‘fingers were made before thumbs.’


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