So, the Sage has been putting his foot in it with both hands recently. A few weeks ago (can’t remember if I told you this already, but if I can’t the odds are you can’t either) we were invited to have dinner with friends. I took the phone call, which was fortunate, and happily accepted the invitation and then told the Sage. We never do anything on a Saturday night so I knew it would be all right.
“Oh. A bit short notice. I might want to visit A & J”. A & J live in Cheltenham. I was a bit surprised. It transpired that he was planning to visit them at some time. Well, I might have implied that already. But I didn’t know that hithertofore. Furthermore, he was going to stay overnight. Upon enquiry, it turned out that he might go at any time in the next few months. So, what was the big thing about the coming weekend? I asked.
Long/short – I gave him hell. I explained that we were going to have dinner with friends and have a social life together for once. And, while I was about it, I wondered why he was insouciantly planning a night visiting his friends when he was so staying-away-from-home phobic that he didn’t even go to his son’s graduation and I was the only parent sitting with an empty place beside me, and he hasn’t spent a night away from home for more years than I can remember (at least 8, maybe 10). Poor chap didn’t have a leg to prop himself up with.
Two more incidents, this last weekend, that have demonstrated that he doesn’t take any notice of what I say, however nicely I say it. “Don’t throw that gravy away, it’ll go in with the partridge bones to make stock” isn’t that hard, is it? Binned it was, although the rest of the post-dinner chaos in the kitchen was untouched. “I’ve left *this* dishful for the chickens, and *this*, in the colander, is for Tilly” was also straightforward. Naturally, Tilly was disappointed.
I explained that it isn’t the wrong move but the not listening. He was abashed. Next time, I’ll make him repeat what I said. The simple truth is that most men dismiss what women say. It goes right over their heads. They think it’s all ‘yakyakyak’, however lucid the explanation.
Anyway, today he’s gone to visit A&J in Cheltenham. So I’ve taken the opportunity to cook an Indian meal. Fish in a yoghurt sauce, a mushroom and rice number, a green bean with chilli and mustard seed dish and spicy cauliflower. Later, I will play loud and sweary music. Then I’ll go to bed. He phoned at 7 o’clock. “I left the electric blanket on” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to be chilly without me.”
Oh, and he arranged for Al to feed the chickens. “Didn’t he think I’d get it right?” I wondered. “I think he was worried that you’d fall over and get muddy” reassured Al. “It’s a bit boggy just inside the gate.” It’s true. He spares me.