This one’s from Stegbeetle. It makes one go all introspective, which is a bit worrying.
1. Biggest fear: Water. Deep water. The sea. I can cope with a swimming pool but I can’t go out of my depth unless I have something to hold on to. My daughter didn’t believe me until we were on holiday together and I unwisely let go and then couldn’t get upright again without going underwater and she had to grab me. That was extremely funny actually – she said “I knew you were a bad swimmer but I didn’t expect to have to rescue you from the shallow end!” We stood in the water in fits of laughter – I could laugh about that, but to swallow sea water?
I’m most afraid of drowning in the sea.
2. Most megalomaniacal ambition: I am a reasonable woman. I’m easy-going and, if something matters to you, I’m usually happy to go along with it. Even if I disagree, give me a good argument and I may be persuaded. But if I still say I’m right, then I am and that’s all there is to it.
Therefore, the ambition is to be recognised as always right.
3. When you’re talking to your boss, you’re usually thinking about: I don’t have a boss as such so I’ll give my husband the honour since he is the expert in our business. I’m usually thinking ‘yeah, yeah, I’ll do it when I’m ready. First things first.’ And what they are, I’ll leave you to imagine.
4. Most disgusting habit: I don’t think it is odd at all, but I’ve never met anyone else who admits to it. When cuddling a dog, I sniff its paws. I love the smell of dogs’ feet. Each dog, of course, smells different. In another life, I was a bloodhound.
I also adore biting my nails. I don’t do it much, although I have a lifetime legacy of weak nails, but I enjoy it when I have an excuse such as a broken nail that’s catching on things.
5. Criteria for judging other people: How they treat other people. Particularly someone whose job makes them easy to disregard, such as a shop assistant or a waiter, who has to accept disrespect without reacting.
6. How do you measure up?: I hope, pretty well. However, there are times when I can’t remember the face of a person who served me, or whom I served and I am trying to learn to look at people as well as talking to them.
7. What do you think when you see a fat person eating fast food?: ‘Eat slow food.’
8. How about when you see thin person smoking?: ‘(S)he’ll look old before her/his time.’
9. When you meet someone of the same gender who’s more attractive than you, inside you think: I wish I had legs like hers. And that I was taller.
10. When you meet someone of the opposite gender who’s less attractive than you, inside you think: I don’t take much notice of appearance. I don’t think that what a man looks like has to be the most attractive thing about him.
11. The last lie you told was: I said I was busy last Monday night to get out of an engagement. In fact, I was out every other night of the week and I wanted an evening in, but I felt it wouldn’t be polite to admit that on that occasion (usually I’d just say it, but that time it wouldn’t have been appropriate).
12. Tell us about the time you read someone’s diary/hacked into their emails/went through their stuff: I read my daughter’s housemate’s diary, about 10 years ago. He was training to be a teacher and was writing an evaluation of how the course was going and how he felt about his chosen career. It was rather sweetly pompous. It wasn’t a personal diary at all.
I also once read a letter from my husband’s brother, to him and me, but the Sage hadn’t shown it to me. I understood why he hadn’t, it was a spiteful and bitter letter. The Sage neither wanted me to be upset nor to demonstrate what a person his brother had become. I have never told him I read the letter (he knew I had seen others, in similar vein but not as nasty, from his brother).
13. You know that person who you’re secretly jealous of – and there’s a part of you, that you can’t quite suppress, that wishes they would, just for once, get to taste a bit of your luck? Tell us what you hate about them – go on let it all out: There are some people (eg some politicians, ‘celebs’, journalists) whom I would find it hard to speak to, but that’s not personal.
I don’t know anyone luckier than me.
I can only bitch about someone spontaneously, I don’t want to do it in cold blood!
14. The most expensive thing you’ve ever stolen was: I can’t remember stealing anything. Except that I have a pen from Argos in my handbag, so I must have pocketed it. Dear God, what a prig I sound. I’ve a lot of faults, but stealing isn’t one of them.
Ah yes, I’ve thought of something. When I was a little girl, my mother’s godson spent a few weeks with us each summer. On his last day, we went and bought sweets and cakes and had a feast. Part of the ritual was that we had to use found money if we didn’t have any of our own. We used to look down the back of chairs and in drawers for pennies. We didn’t look outside the house or in a handbag, it had to be ‘lost’ money so we didn’t think of it as stealing, but it was a secret. It was about a shilling’s worth. 5p. A pound or two at today’s prices.
15. Even though all this is true, you’re still a really good person because… children and dogs and horses like me and they are excellent judges of character.
I’m not tagging, but let me know if you have a go at this one.