I’m fine with the age I am. I don’t pretend to be younger, I’m only moderately vain (wouldn’t stick my stomach out if I knew you were going to photograph me, but otherwise, reality is okay). I don’t colour my hair because I’m both lazy and a bit obsessive – I’d hate roots and would have to deal with them straight away, so it’s easier not. If I were completely grey, I’d have a plan, but I’m not. Anyway, this isn’t about any of this, it’s the unexpected stuff. The Who Knews?
Finger muscles. When you’re young, you don’t really register your finger muscles. It’s only when they start to fail. Can’t take off lids, lose your grip.
Eyebrows. Now, that’s really unexpected. My eyebrows have both diminished in volume and faded in colour. Only a few years ago, I had to tweak out hairs to keep them in shape and now, honestly, even though there are unwanted bits and pieces, they’re palely invisible. But you lose the shape of your upper face without eyebrows. As time has gone by, my use of makeup has changed. In my teens, it was all about mascara (this was the ’60s and early ’70s, it’s how it was). Later, generally eyes, then my skin needed some evening out, then lips were a thing, generally I aimed for a balance but, if pushed – only two minutes to put your face on, what do you do? – there was a choice. Now, it’s eyebrows.
Bladder. Sorry. Mostly, I still have a bladder of Absolute Steel. I can go for hours, I’m fine. I hardly ever need to get up in the night. But a tickly cough (not a chesty one, just the tickly sort) and I have to cross my legs hastily. I feel the cough coming and I brace myself.
Eyesight – this is less unexpected in some ways, but I’m absolutely blessed with my eyesight and extremely grateful for it. Being slightly shortsighted, I can read easily with no aids, even the bottom line of the card the optician gives me, even silver hallmarks in a good light. And distance is equally fine with a contact lens. So one lens and I have the very best of both. It’s the luckiest I could be and I’m thankful. But colour differentiation and seeing graduations of colour in poor light, that’s another matter. I’m doing this needlepoint tapestry, it’s going well but there are bits I have to get to grips with during the day, or I will make mistakes. At least, I’m fine with driving at night and I don’t find oncoming traffic a problem.
Likewise, taste. I know I don’t have the subtlety of taste that I used to have, and I miss that. But probably not entirely unexpected. Hearing, I’m okay, I don’t know when I last heard a bat but this is something that’s natural as you get older. Eyebrows and fingers, they’re the things that I didn’t anticipate.