Plugging on slowly and painfully. I haven’t been able to write a to-do list, the thought made me too anxious, even though I knew it would help once it was done. Weeza helped me, it’s written (will be added to, of course) and she made me do the most urgent thing that had been top of the list for some time and I’d been ignoring. I’ve had to apologise profusely and ask for help in getting the work done – which is fine, I’ve never had a problem with acknowledging I was in the wrong, but I didn’t want to get on with the work. The die is cast now. The deadline is the end of this month, but there’s a lot to do first.
I’ve also been to see someone about getting a valuation of the house contents. Since it’s all half mine anyway, I’m the sole inheritor and there’s no duty payable until I die, this is not easy to take on the chin, but there isn’t an alternative. I’m jolly well going to spend the rest of my life giving away all I own to my family and documenting it, or else selling things and spending the money, that’s all I can say.
The alarm went off at around 4.45 this morning, for no reason that I could discern, so I’m pretty tired now. I haven’t even looked at today’s papers, so will take them to bed. Fortunately, I don’t mind sleeping alone. The Sage and I haven’t slept well together for some time, so often didn’t – or, even if we started together, one or other of us would move into another bed after a while. We were much more comfortable, could sleep better and not disturb each other when we didn’t.
I don’t want to turn this into a blog about bereavement or any such thing, which is part of the reason I didn’t mention Russell’s death here for so long. The temptation to write about what I feel and think and am doing is strong, but it’s not a good idea. And blimey, it’d be self-indulgent too. I’ve been introspective much of my life and it’s a lot more fun when I’m not. Actually, the world outside is more interesting than what goes on in my head.
Just had to prove I was human to log in – bit strange to have to say that today is Thursday, but logic won in the end.
Why do you have to have a valuation if there’s no duty payable until you die – or is the duty sitting there waiting for that event? Sorry, don’t know anything about probate, etc. And how do you value all that stuff that’s going into skips, even as we speak? Or does that have a negative value (in that a future owner would have to dispose of it)?
I’m glad you have a strong daughter who will get you sorted. Although make sure you give her a little space because although most of the stuff you’re disposing of has been acquired by your husband, it was her dad as well.
I’m so glad Roses is going to stay with you. That’s the best thing I’ve heard for ages. (Never met either of you, mind, so what do I know but it seems an ideal situation for the time being.)
I’m jolly well going to spend the rest of my life giving away all I own to my family and documenting it, or else selling things and spending the money, that’s all I can say.
If you haven’t already… please do take advice from an inheritance specialist. There are much better ways of doing things that do not rely on you surviving 7 years form each large gift. You can also vary Russell’s will conditions now – but it’s a highly specialist area, and although little local solicitors think they know about it, they frequently don’t know all the tricks.
You know how canny I am about money, but even I have been amazed (actually, horrified) about the possibilities.
Sending Courage for the continuing Operation Clearance!
I think you are coping splendidly!! Blue Witch has sound advice, probate is a murky area!
Take care, Zed!! xxx love from here in the boondocks!
Because Russell owned a fairly big house and some land. If he’d ever shared it with me, the situation wouldn’t have arisen, but he was possessive about this place. So his estate looks large enough to attract the interest of the inheritance tax people. His allowance gets added to mine but doesn’t engender its own tax bill.
Eloise’s greatest wish is to get me sorted out. mostly because she’s lovely and she loves me, but if we all have our hard hats on, if it doesn’t get done it’ll fall to my children in the end anyway. I’m not letting that happen, but I can’t manage without a lot of help. She’s finding it tough, but we love and understand each other very well.
Yup, Roses is settling in – still unpacking, though!
Thank you, BW, don’t take all I say right now too literally. I can be a bit emotional. The benefit of a Deed of Variation has been very much diminished, now that the allowance has been given to the survivor, but I will look into the options in time (I know I have two years). I have so much on my plate right now that I have to put future planning in its place in the queue – especially as I don’t know what the future holds right now – but will be careful not to make mistakes.
John, I feel better for being busy and practical. I know I will have bad moments, but they’ll be worse if I don’t crack on. My kids and I between us are pretty canny and my solicitor and accountant are helpful (and I know I pay for their time, I do all I can myself).
Yes, I would have been rather surprised had you not got things better in hand than you were suggesting 😉 At least you have plenty of informed people around to discuss the options.