Z takes the rough with the smooth

I’ve had to do quite a lot of admin in the last few days, which has involved talking to people on the phone, being organised and sorting things out – and spending rather a lot on really uninteresting but necessary stuff. By the time I finished (though there have been follow-up emails since) at lunchtime today, I felt unnerved and anxious. I used to be able to cope with this sort of thing and, for the last few years, it’s been very hard. I was efficient once. Now I’m broken, or at least heavily cracked. I can still do it when I must, but I don’t think I’ll ever get back to the old Z. Still, no one else is going to do my work (and they’d not do it as well as I would anyway; I always regret anything that matters that’s been delegated).

I’m floundering at present. It will take me a couple more days to pull myself together. I was supposed to make a few non-business phone calls this afternoon, but I couldn’t manage it. It’s frustrating.

So, positives.

Dinner tonight was poached salmon, sautéed courgettes, asparagus and hollandaise sauce, all whipped up in twenty minutes on the new portable double hotplate. ‘Im indoors approved.

Mama cat came into the greenhouse this afternoon, not noticing I was in there but, when she saw me, she came for a cuddle.

Wink is taking us out for lunch tomorrow.

Yesterday, Tim and I managed both cryptic crosswords, in The Guardian and The Times, with a bit of mutual help. Or maybe I mean reciprocal.

3 comments on “Z takes the rough with the smooth

  1. 63mago

    I rhink I have a vague idea about what you mean when you mention this “effectiveness”. I am so long “out of business” that it needs a bit of work to make a non-private phonecall – some years ago this would have been absolutely no problem, now it can become one, small, but nevertheless. Maybe it is just a question of “excercise” …

      1. Z Post author

        I knew what you meant. Typos don’t count as mistakes!

        Being so busy that you don’t have time to think about it, but just get on, do it and move on to the next thing is, I suppose, part of it. I do, nowadays, have time to worry. But I also look back and realise that I was working at a ridiculous pace, at one time. I’ve never really found the right balance and I’m rather relieved that I don’t have to any more.


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