We spent yesterday with Weeza and co. Phil’s mother is staying for a few days, it was good to see her again. It’s been a long time, because of lockdown. Zerlina cooked – an apple cake for tea and egg fried rice for supper. My grandchildren are growing up so.
Today, I’ve finally been getting to grips with Tim’s memorial service here, which is only a week away. I’ve just put in one piece of music from his funeral and added two more and two hymns. The Rector is coming over tomorrow afternoon to discuss everything. I emailed him a couple of days ago about it, saying I hadn’t had time to plan yet and I was feeling rather overwhelmed. He replied kindly, finishing “We will create a lovely service for Tim and everything will be organised in plenty of time,” which evidently meant I’d sounded dismal and anxious.
Looking for ideas, I searched for Russell’s funeral service booklet and only found the box of letters and cards that I’d received when he died. I’d forgotten there were so many. So much kindness all around. I can’t think why I didn’t tuck in a service sheet with them, but never mind. It was just the bible reading I’d wanted, I remembered the rest – and I think I remember that too, anyway. But I’ve emailed the Rector again with our thoughts so far – Wink and I bounced ideas off each other – and probably sounded more like my usual self.
Wink is out at present, getting her booster vaccination. I expect I’ll have notification that I can book mine within the next week, though it may have to wait until I return from Reading again.
I was in bed, listening to the radio (the Sounds app on my phone, I download what I want to listen to) when I got an email, asking about a couple of pieces of china that didn’t find buyers in the auction. So I sold them to the chap there and then and he’s coming to fetch them next week. The self-employed are rarely off duty – nor the employed, nowadays, which isn’t right at all. I used to send school-related emails last thing at night in the expectation that teachers would not check their work accounts until next morning, but they did and, though I always said I didn’t want a quick reply, they answered them. I had to leave them in my drafts folder and send them next day, it wasn’t at all fair that they should feel obliged.
I have finally been shopping for some odds and ends – just household things from the supermarket, along with a visit to the greengrocer. The latter has just changed hands and they haven’t got stock control quite right yet. It’s not easy, especially with the most perishable things. So they were out of both celery and cucumber and were asked for both. I stocked up well. I’d taken some chicken stock out of the freezer and planned to make minestrone, but I’ve bought mushrooms and am toying with the idea of risotto instead. I’ve got tomatoes, aubergines and mozzarella, which will make one meal, a couple of potatoes, at least one of which will be baked for another meal and I bought a late ear of sweetcorn for tonight, plus green veg, carrot, onions and so on. I used to spend at least £50 a week at the deli and as much again at the greengrocer but I don’t seem to need much at present, though I do eat. I’ve got a sourdough loaf proving at present – I’m trying a different recipe, but the amount of water given was far too much. 500g of starter and 400-500ml of water to a total of 800g of flour and quite a lot of seeds. I halved the quantity of seeds, much as I like them but I may up it next time, though I’ll certainly change the preparation method. Honestly, do people actually try their own recipes? Doing the first kneading when (if I’d used the given quantity of liquid) I’d have had a batter rather than a dough, then trying to knead in 250g of seeds later would be quite a challenge. I’ll put the seeds in along with the water and then it’ll all mix well and I’ll be able to judge the amount of water; I’ll start with 350ml at most.
I must start getting the house ready and thinking about food for next weekend, but not today. I’m going to go and comfort cook for myself. I see no real reason why I can’t make soup today and risotto tomorrow. Or the other way round.
I continue to be amazed at what you are accomplishing.
And what the rector said in his email, “We will create a lovely service for Tim and everything will be organised in plenty of time,” definitely does not “evidently meant I’d sounded dismal and anxious”, it just means just that, and he will help, and it will all be fine.
When I first started needing more help from people, I found it so hard to give up being the one who always was the giver and helper to everyone, the person everyone came to with their problems, and the one who had an answer or solution to everything, and the first one to roll up my sleeves and get on with something. I still do really… but, understanding that people actually like helping (and like being asked to do something – anything – if they have offered help), and accepting a bit of ‘payback’ from what I’ve put into the pot in the past has allowed me to come to terms with it a bit more now. IYSWIM.
I hope you are getting on OK. I understand that it is difficult to accept help when you have always been the helper. I have also always been a giver but I found that letting others help me made a lot of difference. Friends just want to return kindness and provide support and when we accept their help, it makes them happy and it gives them the opportunity to give in return. Soup or risotto? Go with what you feel for the day. I will keep visiting you even if you can’t get to my site. Take care
Echoing Blue WItch, I do not think that the direx implied that you sound “dismal and anxious”. I am sure that you have it all together now, or nearly all, for the service, I am sure it will be a dignified, decent – and now I miss the third “d” – , a harmonic service.
Take your time, dearest Z
I was dismal and anxious though, I was near panic. Not for long, rational Z soon took over.
Kestrel, I don’t know what the problem is. When I try to comment on your site, it doesn’t show me as logged in to google, but it does on other sites. I am logged in to google, I come to it straight from my Blogger blog or my gmail. So sorry.
Yes, thank you everyone, the service is all sorted out and the rest is getting done. Food shopping in the morning.