It took years for the Sage and me to remember our wedding anniversary. We knew it was the 24th or the 25th, but we had to look it up every year. Eventually, I managed to retain it, because we had one child born on the 2nd and the other on the 4th. Once our youngest turned up on the 24th, it was even clearer. But birthdays and anniversaries, whilst celebrated, are casual as far as the date is concerned. If a present hasn’t been chosen yet, it might arrive late or be promised for whenever something is wanted. I’ve a feeling I didn’t give Ro a proper birthday present this year and I’ve only just given Al (whose birthday was in April) his present, jointly with Dilly (whose birthday was on Monday).

Even more, I avoid bad anniversaries, but I can’t help remembering them, though I don’t usually mention them to the family. I did remind Wink though, a couple of weeks ago, that it was the 10th anniversary of Russell’s death. It had been on my mind for weeks and I couldn’t help it. Tomorrow, it’ll be 3 years since Tim died. Easier not to talk about it much, I won’t say anything (in person, that is). I’m hoping that I’ll start to feel less bereft before too much longer, I’m coping better but I don’t really feel better at all.

The other thing I’ve found is that each bereavement makes me focus more on previous ones, it’s all cumulative. So I try to spare myself.

From mid-August to the end of September is six weeks of birthdays and wedding anniversaries. All my children-in-law’s birthdays are in September and all my children got married – in different years – in the space of 5 weeks. 3 grandchildren were born in that time – again, all in different years and, of course, it’s my own birthday next week too. I’ll be a prime number again. I like prime numbers. I’m going to London for the day – Wink is taking me to a literary lunch (I can’t remember, at present, who the speakers are) in London and then we’re scooting back, because there’s a live screening from the Royal Opera House in the evening, of The Marriage of Figaro. I suppose we should have got actual tickets and gone to see it at the ROH, but we didn’t think of it in time. Of all operas, the overture to Figaro is the one that makes me settle in my seat for a good time. Lovely.