I had an odd feeling tonight. We are in Reading – Wink and me, Tim’s brother and sister-in-law. We were eating dinner. It’s been a busy day and I’ve felt quite intrusive into Tim’s life, sorting out things, not that anything was overly personal. Anyway, I felt his presence for the first time. He was behind me, in the corner behind my right shoulder and we were ignoring him. And if I’d turned round, he wouldn’t have been there, so I didn’t. Just odd and sad and I had to be very self-controlled. I miss him so much.
In the morning, a house clearance chap is coming round. There are things I’d like out of the way, just the sort of stuff one accumulates and rarely uses and that I won’t ever want myself. Furniture will almost all stay until the house is sold. It’s all very hard. R & V are being very kind and helpful and I’m accepting all the help offered.
One of the worst days yet, in fact. Don’t think they realise this, I hope not.
Clearance is horrible. I hope the feeling of Tim’s presence eventually becomes a comfort.
Sx
I’m glad that Tim is able to make his presence felt to you. He is there, with you, always, I am sure, it is just that sometimes your guard is low enough for him to peep through.
You have been so strong and coping with so much. I admire your strength and ability to go on. My mum always said to me that the departed never leaves us but stay around to guide and make sure we are doing okay.
I’m really sorry for your loss. Going through clearance myself and sisters. I feel my dad around all the time. I guess we are lucky to have had their love and even feel that when they are gone.
Hope you stay safe and sound.
Love from BR.
Thank you all, so much.
I realise you wrote this a while back, but In Our Time on radio 4 last week was Thomas Hardy and they read his poem The Shadow on the Stone. it made me think of this post of yours. I’ll leave a link to the poem here so you can read it if and when you like. It made me cry so be warned
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48729/the-shadow-on-the-stone
Thank you Sarah. Yes x