It’s been busy, until the last couple of days, which have been oddly quiet. From a doing things point of view, that is. I’m not really used to not having enough to do.
Anyway, thanks to Wink’s magic medicine (the slow release ibuprofen, that is) I’ve been able to manage and I haven’t taken any for a week or so. Still no idea what caused the problem.
I’ve always blogged when I’m cheerful and to help make myself cheerful when I’m not. Recently, I haven’t really known what to say, so have kept quiet. But that doesn’t mean that good things aren’t happening. Things are fine, day to day, but I feel as if I’m struggling just as much as when Tim first died. And when Russell did, come to that. And everyone I’ve ever loved and lost. It all still piles up like a logjam with nowhere to go and I have no idea how I’ll ever move past that, if I ever will. This doesn’t stop me being quite ordinary and jolly and practical, but the inner Z seems to be broken.
The holiday in Mexico is booked and paid for, all I need to worry about is a wedding outfit. And I’m going to try again to get up to Scotland this year, though I don’t know when that’ll be.
I think I just have to try harder. Do it, even when I don’t feel like doing it.
So, on that note, I’m going to have a lovely long, hot bath and an early night, to read or listen to the radio or whatever I feel like (I’m kidding, I’ll fall asleep until midnight) and then be ready for good cheer with the family. Happy Christmas, all you lovely friends. Thanks for sticking around.
Oh, Z, I’m so sorry the glums are bothering you!
They hung around here for a while but I told them to sod-off. Bloody hell! I should have been more specific!
But I’ll have some bubbles for you tonight! Cheers!
I tell them to sod off too, but the sadness is so deeply embedded that I guess I sabotage myself. Cheers, love. Glad you’re still blogging too.
While I was unpacking boxes of objets yesterday I found an article in a newspaper that was very enlightening for situations like this. Well, I thought so. When I find it again (I thought I put it in a pocket but I can’t now find it) I shall send it over to you.
In the meantime, hope you enjoy the festivities and the return of more daily light.
Thinking of you – and missing your posts when you aren’t here.
Will you be driving to Scotland? Do break the journey and come and stay over if so, it would be lovely to see you.
Thank you, I’d appreciate it.
I went to the carol service and, afterwards, talked to a friend, who told me that her husband died very recently – I last saw her at the beginning of this month, so it’s within the last three weeks and was unexpected. Though they’d been married for 54 years, she isn’t much older than I am and her elder son is the same age as Ronan, which is why we first met when I first moved here. So my sadness for her compounded my self-pity, I’m sorry to say.
I’m hoping that one of my family might be able to come with me. If it’s Ronan, odds are that we’d come by train, as he isn’t the best traveller. If it’s Wink or I’m alone, I’d drive and then I’d love to come and see you.
Whereabouts in Scotland, or are you planning to travel around? Other than the major cities I think it is very hard to get around by public transport. If you drive up, we are very rural but very well placed for access off/on to one of the major routes into Scotland. In fact, from where you are, it is probably about half way to the top part of Scotland.
But, we were recently recommended a travel company who specialise in planning personal itineraries. McKinlay Kidd. We’re planning on getting them to work something out for us in the springtime, then we will know where we want to go back to. The lady (from Sherringham) we met who had done many holidays with them was clearly of a ‘discerning but liking value’ nature and when she told us the places she was stayiing around us, they were definitely the hidden gems of the area.
If Ronan and I came by train, then I might hire a car, depending on what we wanted to do, but the main purpose of the trip is to see the Burrell Collection – it’s in my top three favourite small museums outside London and I haven’t been back since it reopened. So I may well be based in or near Glasgow. But if Ro doesn’t come with me, odds are that I’d drive. Wink would love to come, but it depends on Al housesitting – he’s always kind enough to, without complaint, but I’ve no idea if he minds! I’ll be interested to hear about the company, though.