Changes are afoot here at the Zeddary (the spelling is optional, I like to ring the changes).  Have a look at the Sage’s website and you’ll see what I mean.

This is part of what has been behind my intention to retire as a governor, but I’m thinking again.  We’ve had a few straightforward talks recently, and I have been thinking things through.

What I’m good at, you see, is problem-solving, putting together what I know from various places and coming up with ideas.  Give me something to work with and I can see it from different angles and sometimes the comments I make are surprisingly helpful.  Not having enough to stimulate me will bore me silly.  I’ve no particular skill or overriding hobby, and taking up something for the sake of filling my time is a pretty dreadful thought.  I’m practical and I love to have a go, but I’m not artistic, I’m not a writer or a musician (much as I love art, books and music), nor am I especially skilled with my hands, though I’m pretty practical.  Looking after the house and garden, eating out and social small talk, taking up a hobby, are fine for when I’m much older than I am now, but that sort of retirement will just not do for now.

Natural inclinations that are better overriden are introspection, an inclination to melancholy (not depression) and solitude, a readiness to be lazy.  What I’d rather encourage in myself are enthusiasm, readiness to pitch in and work hard, a real love of people.  I’m very patient but I’m also easily bored.  I’m good at involving myself in a range of activities because I’m able to compartmentalise, dismiss one thing entirely from my mind temporarily to concentrate wholly on the matter in hand.

There’s not going to be any great changes in the Sage’s life, just a lifting of some of the work that he and I both do and which is becoming a burden.  He has plenty to occupy his time and if he wants us to do anything together we will.  But it’ll be his choice of activity for the most part, he’s either very interested in something or he isn’t, there is no middle way.  I’ll take an interest in pretty well anything, but not necessarily in any great depth.  He had been very reluctant to say he’d give up auctioneering, but once the decision was made (and Weeza and I both pushed for it) he realised it was the right one and he’s looking forward to the freedom.   He’s already become rather less active at home, it’s me who has taken on much of the heavier work in house and garden that we used to do together or he did.

In short, I’m still going to work on finding someone to take over from me as chairman of governors, but I’m going to relax about the timescale.  There’s a lot of work to do and there will be an even greater spread to come, so I need to relinquish a couple of the things I do now, to give me scope.  It’ll be stimulating, whether or not it’s always enjoyable.  I think I’ll know the time to give up, and it’ll be when I’ve got a successor and everything’s going well.  Because when there are problems to solve, that’s not the time to quit, not if I can be useful.

There are things that I’m not too keen on about my life, but what I do like is the variety.  A couple of days will give an example –

Tuesday:

• Committee meeting at the school – these aren’t boring, but entirely purposeful.  Staff members are always invited to give a presentation at the start on current matters and I’m always impressed by the level of knowledge and involvement of other governors.
• The courtyard, I noticed last week, needed weeding.  A group of governors, including the Head, had done this last summer but we’d omitted to establish whose responsibility it would be in the future.  So I thought I’d spend a spare hour there.  I was told afterwards that students were asking who I was (this is at our sixth form centre – all our long-term pupils would know me, but those who joined us for the sixth form probably wouldn’t) and they were assured I was Really Important.  Heh.  Three garden refuse sacks of weeds later, I’d done about two thirds and will go back and finish it off unless someone can bribe a few students (apparently, a lollipop engenders much goodwill).
• Shopping – just groceries, but it all got a bit complicated.  
• Driving to Norwich to pick up Zerlina from school, a great pleasure.  We went to the playground, then to the Post Office to post several hundred catalogues for the auction next month and buy ice cream, then went to visit Weeza to pick up a front door key because I discovered mine wasn’t on my fob – got to search for that, then went home and did jigsaws and played in the garden.  I made her tea which she ate in its entirety, good girl.
• Home, Squiffany was at Brownies as usual on a Tuesday, so the rest of the family was here.  I only caught them for half an hour, but it was nice to do so.

i wasn’t going to blog tonight, or for a few days.  I’m too tired and grumpy.  But then I figured, what the hell.

I fetched my electric lawnmower back from Ronan last night, because the Sage’s sit-on mower didn’t work any more and I had my doubts if it would – at least, I’d get the lawns in check.  And so I have, and I’m just a bit knackered.  Ours took two hours, then I moved stuff ready for the skip, moved other stuff to burn, burned it, took the dog for … oh no, turned out the Sage hadn’t had lunch so I cooked him lunch … took the dog for a lovely run on the marshes, came home, lost track of time a bit, got the mower out again and mowed the bungalow lawn.  Darlings, you don’t deserve the most boring picture of the year: that of the heap of lawn clippings, but I never pretended to be interesting.

Oh.  Sorry.  It’s so boring that even Blogger has rejected it.  Three times.

Sooooo, I didn’t even leave a job for the garden fairies, but cleared away everything and then went for a bath, not forgetting to put a bottle of Cava to chill.  Because I needed the pick-me-up of bubbles, but it was more grim satisfaction than celebration, so I saved the champagne for a gooder day.  But the bath was nice, and I put on a face pack and everything.  Including pyjamas in due course, so that when the Sage said he was going down to the pub and would I like to come, I said no, because I’d already opened said Cava and started cooking dinner and wasn’t actually dressed.  I say cooking dinner, but I haven’t shopped for days and was reduced to an onion in the way of veggies, and half a cucumber, so it was spaghetti with tomato sauce and cheese and a cucumber salad.

And that was surprisingly entertaining, because the dog adores spaghetti and turns his head to one side to chomp it down.  I just hope it isn’t returned in an inappropriate fashion.

No, I left half of the day out…but I’m too tired.  Some other time, darlings.  I’m flagging rapidly and it’s only half past eight.

Well, the day has had its ups and downs…

We’ve been getting on with clearing up rubbish, and the Sage has finally agreed that I’m right in suggesting that simply getting a skip and filling it is the way to go.  As I’ve said more than once, I don’t want to throw away anything he’d rather keep, but the alternative is many visits to the dump – that’ll be my job, not his – and it’ll be simpler and easier to fill a skip.

Then he let the chickens out into the veg garden, and I let Ben out – not into the veg garden, but out without a lead.  No one told me when a chicken flew over the wall, or I’d have gone and fetched her before he caught her.

I couldn’t help hearing Benny Hill music as we chased them, but it was far more upsetting, even than his (BH’S) distinctly dodgy, by today’s sensibilities, actions – he (Ben) dropped her a couple of times and it was apparent that she was alive…anyway, after a few minutes he either got tired or realised we were going to catch him anyway, and stayed still while the Sage took his collar.  “Don’t pull!” I warned him and said “Drop!” sternly to Ben, while looking into his eyes and parting his jaws, and the Sage rescued the hen – who seems fine.  He is a retriever, not a killer, thank goodness, not that this must happen again.  Poor little bantam.

So, a five-foot wall is easy for them to fly over and we have to clip their wings.  Ben was good in all other respects (“apart from that, Mrs Lincoln…?”)  and he has to be let go, to learn to come back.

I’m afraid that reporting that I’d seen bees at Al’s hives was a misleading sighting: they were a few foraging ones.  Al lost all three hivesful over the winter: he’s cleared everything away today and won’t restock until next year.  They died because of the long, cold winter, there was still food left.  Other friends lost all their bees too – you’d have needed quite a few strong colonies to keep them going.

I had to wrestle Ben after we’d rescued the chicken, and it’s been acknowledged that I’m stronger than he is.  He doesn’t realise by how little – but at heart I’m a winner … against a dog, anyway.

Al, Dilly and the children came over after Squiffany’s gymnastics in Beccles – lovely to see them.  Squiff has become quite nervous of dogs, but when she saw her baby brother Hay was confident, she plucked up courage and stroked Ben too.  Tired after his bantam wrangling, he lay there looking happy.  So let’s hope that’s a problem solved.

I’ve been doing some more thinking and I have come to a balanced solution that I think will suit everyone.  But then I was ever the optimist…we’ll see.

Sunny and warm at last, woo hoo!  And just in time for the Bank Holiday weekend.  Actually, it’s been noticeable this year that holidays have had reasonable weather – well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, it being two out of two, but that’s a lot better odds than most years, when the prospect of a Monday off brings on biting winds and horizontal rain.

I’ve no particular plans, myself.  One tentative one for tomorrow has fallen through, so I’m open to suggestions.  Although it’s quite possible that I won’t leave here at all except to walk the dog.  Now that the grass is growing, there’s too much to do and I suspect that the Sage hopes I’ve forgotten about an ultimatum that I issued a month ago.  What I haven’t done all week is read blogs, I’m afraid, so there won’t be many comments while I catch up again.  And if I’m out in the garden, there won’t be too much of that…

I’m rambling, I’m afraid.  If you haven’t met me yet, this is worryingly like the way I normally speak, when I’m not in incisive chair of governors mode, that is.  A little touch of irony there?  D’you think so?

Ben says he wants attention and I’ve been at the computer too long.  Fair enough.  Mind you, since it was only ten minutes ago that he threw up on the drawing room floor, I think it’s I, who cleaned it up, who could do with being made a fuss of.

I’ve been doing a bit of straightforward self-appraisal, but with a deliberately appreciative eye.  And yes, I can see why people are reluctant to take over from me.  Normally, one sees ones shortcomings and takes for granted what one does well enough, but I have to understand the situation.

Today, I was due in Music – two double lessons, one before lunch and one after, with two Year 7 classes.  First, the downside – I’ve missed the last two because I was out for lunch.   Then the balance – I had a great time (nothing to do with being a governor, that, except that it matters to me that I spend time in the classroom because that’s what matters most in a school, the learning and the teaching) and I was some use.  Indeed, this afternoon, a lad observed “When you concentrate, this is really good” and that was as a result of my input (including, darlings, I sang along to help.  I am a reluctant singer, normally).  In addition, though I’m not in with a governor’s hat on, it keeps me aware of what’s going on, I can’t help observing, though I have a careful awareness of the position of trust I’m in.

On the way in, I was spotted by the Head, who came over for a chat and filled me in on a situation.  I understood completely because I know the background and everyone involved.  We discussed and agreed what I’d do, and I assured him I’d not go beyond that.  Don’t make a tricky situation worse through naivety, or leap in through over-enthusiasm.  Come to that – darlings, this is Z with Good Advice hat on – write an email, save it and read it again the next day.  You’ll probably tone it down.  If you’re on shaky ground, even in one small area, that’s what’ll be picked up, so don’t say it.

Later, I had lunch in school (pleasing the cooks, being seen by pupils and chatting with teachers) and then went for a chat in the Finance department, where I was filled in on another area – no need to do anything, it’s being done (nothing to do with money, btw) but a potential problem that needs quick attention (and an appreciative email to another member of staff).

That’s it, really.  Four and a half hours in school, two and a half on Tuesday, it’ll be another hour or so tomorrow – that’s the equivalent of a day, plus about three hours of computer work, plus some discussion, another two hours perhaps – though a fair bit of that was about me, so let’s call it another half-day’s worth.  But it’s not the time spent this week, it’s the accumulation of time that gives me the experience.

Right, so that’s how I happen to do the job.  It’s not necessary to be so hands-on, it’s how I like to do it, keeping my ear to the ground and not thinking of this as a managerial job but as one that involves people, especially the children and their future prospects (in an all-round sense, I’m not meaning just exam results).  It’s the reason I have been doing it for the past twenty-five years – that’s an exaggeration but not much, it’ll be twenty-five on 1st September.

I can also talk about my shortcomings because there are plenty of those, but they’re what I grapple with in private, not that I won’t acknowledge them in public.  I’m a simple person who is good at making links, but I have to do a lot of work to be able to make those links and others could pick up the details quicker.  In addition, this job is changing, in future it will be more strategic and less hands-on, more for someone with solid business experience and that won’t be me.

I’ve run out of steam, I don’t know what more to say.  Anyone with the interest and some time could do this job, but they’d do it differently from me.  But that would be fine, I’m not doing it as well as it could be done, just as well as I can with the time and ability I’ve got.  I put on a good face, that’s all.

Anyway, in other news, it’s looking up on the Nadfas secretary front.  We might have a volunteer.  I think that’s a three-exclamation moment, don’t you?  We might have a volunteer !!(!)  I’ll keep you posted, darlings.

The local theatre is branching out – it already shows films, a mainstream one once a week and an indy/foreign film with a cinema club, also once a week.  But now they’re joining in the screening of opera performances and are doing several of them through the summer.  In addition, they’re screening films of plays currently on in London, including the Othello that’s received such good reviews recently. That’ll be in the autumn.  Also a satellite broadcast from the British Museum of the current Pompeii exhibition, in July.

None of this is going to be like the real thing of course, but I hope it’ll be an adequate substitute and I hope it’ll be well supported.

This theatre has been a remarkable success story.  It was a Georgian theatre, long disused as such and most recently was used as a storage warehouse by clothing importers.  A group of enthusiasts started a fund to get it converted back and at that time there were still generous EU grants – all the same, they had to raise an equivalent sum themselves.  I honestly thought it was a pipe dream, but they did it and it’s a brilliant venue and they have all sorts of imaginative showings there.  It’s also available for hire for various events – the local branch of Nadfas uses it, for instance, and there are book signings, parties, charity dos and so on.  A lot of the people who manage it are volunteers and it’s a labour of great love.  I don’t get there enough – the Sage isn’t fond of theatre or cinema and I don’t like to leave him too often in the evening.  I used to have various meetings in the evenings, but not now, or rarely.

Tomorrow morning, I must print out the address labels for the catalogue for the next sale – I meant to do it today.  I hope I’ve got enough sheets of labels, though I can buy a few more locally if necessary.  I’ll tell you about the sale another day.

I was practising the organ the other day when it occurred to me that I’d never seen myself play – well, obviously, since I’ve never been filmed.  So I did – that is, I started my phone camera and balanced it on the sheet music ledge and played it back.  Yes well, it was amusing anyway.  Rest assured, I deleted it once watched – no one else has or will see it!  I look so solemn – though there wasn’t too much scope for mistakes in Abide With Me, at least.  At least I keep my eyes on the music rather than the keyboard most of the time…